Colours

4.

When I told Joshua to meet me at the shop at 8pm, I wasn't expecting him to appear right on the dot. And obviously I didn't expect him to buy my favourite Green Tea Latte.

"Hey," he said, breathless. He probably rushed to get here, just like he did in the past for our dates.

"Hi," I forced a tight lipped smile. As I locked the doors, I said,"I know a good café nearby. Do you want to sit down and have a talk? It's been a long time anyway."

"Of course!" Joshua nodded enthusiastically. If he kept this up any longer, I wouldn't be able to hold back my feelings for him anymore. They were so close to spilling.

"Okay, let's go."

When we reached the café, Joshua pulled out the chair for me. Awkwardly, I sat down into the chair and mumbled a soft "thanks".

"What would you like to order?" the familiar face of the waitress that always looked my orders walked over to our table.

Since I was a regular customer, the waitress didn't mind when I said that we were only going to be there for a short while.

"Of course," she smiled.

After she left, there was an awkward silence before Joshua spoke. "Why didn't you order anything?"

"Because this meeting is meant to be short and brief. Just say what you need to say and we're done."

I didn't know that my words had such impact but I could see some hurt appear on Joshua's face before he quickly put on a straight face.

"I'm sorry. I'm so damn sorry," he whispered.

What?

"I shouldn't have hurt you 5 years ago I don't know what came over me. You were obviously the one whom I loved but I got so angry and said something I never should have. And in the heat of the moment, I even cheated on you with your most hated person, Noelle Heathers. Kristen, I'm so fucking sorry."

I was completely taken aback. I didn't expect him to even care about the pain he had caused 5 years ago. Was he carrying this guilt with him for so long? I guess he deserved to be forgiven but he didn't deserve for us to be friends again.

"I forgive you. But that doesn't mean it'll change our relationship now. 5 years ago, you said you wished you never met me and wished you were with Noelle Heathers. You purposely chose her name because you knew how much pain she had caused me and you wanted to hurt me. The fact that you betrayed my trust and used my weakness against me is something that can never be taken back. back You have no idea how much you hurt me. You said that you wished you never met me, I don't want to be the one who destroys that perfectly fufilled wish of yours," I said, tears were threatening to spill out of my eyes, so I bit my lip to prevent them from doing so.

As I thought about that incident 5 years ago, I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. First, some flowed down my cheek as I thought about Noelle Heathers. That bitch. We were best friends when we were younger. But as we grew older, she started wanting to gain popularity. But as she didn't have anything interesting about herself, she used my secrets and spread them to everyone. My brother who passed away when he was 10 in a car accident, my mother who fell into depression, and my father who gave up and left our home. She knew how sensitive I was but spread it around, even I insulting me just to gain popularity.

I would come into class seeing words written on my table and sticky notes written with about the same words. "Orphan" "Jinx" "Loser" "Unwanted" "Burden". Because of that, I changed from the cheerful girl to that girl who hid behind her hair and kept silent during class.

Noelle Heathers made my life a living hell but I soon managed to make new friends even though mostly everyone still laughed behind my back. I at least made some true friends, like Esther, Christina and Mel.

The more I thought about it, the more tears flowed. I remembered Joshua screaming at me during that horrible fight. I remembered those words so clearly,"I wish my girlfriend was Noelle Heathers. Maybe then I wouldn't have to deal with your gloominess all the time because you're a freaking orphan who just wants attention."

Right after he said that, I remember the slamming of doors and me driving away to get some air. But when I came back, I saw Joshua and Noelle kissing on the sofa. That sofa where we played video games. Where we had our tickle fights. Where we watched Game of Thrones together and cried during the Red Wedding.

By this time, I was crying like some crazy person. Joshua was so worried and tried comforting me and all he could do was say sorry profusely.

I looked up through my tears. "Don't touch me." I tried to calm myself down by taking a few deep breathes.

When my breathing wasn't so shaky anymore, I managed to croak some words out. "You're already forgiven but we aren't friends. We are just people who used to know each other. I hope you being forgiven helps you sleep better at night." After speaking, I got up, wanting to just leave this place and not spend anymore time around this man.

Joshua's eyes pleaded with me as he gripped my hands tightly, preventing me from walking away. "Can we at least try to be friends?"

I looked away from those eyes, knowing I would end up kissing him if I stared any longer. "Fine," I said grudgingly. I would probably regret this later but...

We would just be friends....nothing more. Right?

A/N Hi I know this chapter is pretty awkward and stuff but I promise things will get explained more along the way.