Dreams of a Virgin

BLIND DATE

Most people dread blind dates, the fear of the unknown. Some work. Most don't. Here is Jeff's ideal blind date.

I had been on a few blind dates in my life. None of them had ever turned out well. My expectations were shot down.

That's why I was so surprised when my friend Michael called me up one Saturday.

"Hey Jeff. What's up?"

"Not much, Michael. How about you?"

"Okay. Listen, I'm calling because I met this great woman last week. We've been talking every day."

"That's great."

"Yeah. Well, anyway, she's got a sister who's perfect for you." I've heard this before. I knew what he was going to say next.

"She's got a nice personality." She's ugly.

"She's fun to be around." She's very ugly.

"And she's very nice." Unbelievably ugly.

"So, what do you think? You want to go out with her Saturday?"

Since I hadn't had a date in six months, I agreed. I figured, "What did I have to lose? She might be alright."

I had a week to think about it. Or a week to back out of it. No, I decided to go through with it. She couldn't be that bad.

Michael called me Monday. "Hey, Jeff. I talked to Emily. She said her sister Tiffany would love to go out with you." She's desperate.

All week I tried to picture what she looks like. 5' tall. 185 pounds. Not pretty. Boring.

Before I knew it, it was Saturday. Michael picked me up. We were going to go on a double date. We arrived at their house. Emily answered the door and hugged Michael. Michael introduced me to Emily.

"Nice to meet you, Jeff."

"Likewise."

"Tiffany's almost ready. C'mon in."

Five minutes later, Tiffany entered the room. All my visions were clearly distorted. Brownish hair halfway down her back. Hazel eyes. Ruby red lips. The cutest dimples. 5' 5". About 130 pounds. Pink blouse. White skirt, knee high. An angelic voice.

"Hi, Jeff."

"Hi." I was nervous. She was everything I had hoped for and nothing I expected.

We talked all the way to the restaurant. Turned out we had a lot in common.

At the restaurant, we sat together in a booth. I ordered for me and Tiffany. Then, Michael and I went to the restroom.

"So, what do you think?" Michael asked me.

"She's great. I can't believe it. She seems to be hanging on my every word. Thanks, Michael."

"Glad to hear it, Jeff. I knew it would work."

As we went back to the table, Emily and Tiffany were staring at us. Apparently, they missed us.

When we went to the movies, I asked Michael if we could sit separately. He said okay. Michael and Emily sat in one section. Tiffany and I sat in another.

When the movie started, I felt her hand on my leg. In response, I put my arm around her. She started blowing in my ear. I knew then that before the night was over, things would get out of control.

As the movie ended, her head was resting on me. I thought she was asleep.

I asked Michael to drop me and Tiffany off at my house. I'd drive her back. This would let Michael and Emily be alone. I knew Tiffany would want this.

So, holding hands, we walked to my house. We sat on the sofa. I offered her a soda. I went to the kitchen to grab two cans of Coke. On the way back, I dimmed the lights.

I gave her the soda. She said maybe later. She grabbed my hands.

"You know, Emily described you to me, but I had no idea you were so cute."

"I thought the same thing about you."

She drew me closer. "And so interesting."

Closer. "And sexy."

As she drew me still closer, our lips met. I pulled back at first. Then, I kissed her. From there, I think she misinterpreted my actions.

She started getting even friskier. She started to unbutton her blouse.

"Whoa. Wait a minute. I'm not that type of guy."

"What's the matter? Don't you like me?"

"Of course I do. I'm just not ready for that yet."

"Sure you are. You just don't know it."

She proceeded to run her fingers through my hair. She scissored my leg with hers. She whispered in my ear.

"You know you want me, you sexy stud, you."

I gave in. I finished unbuttoning her blouse. She started on my pants. I took off her blouse as she took off my pants.

"I know you might not be ready for sex, so I'll try something else."

She took down my boxers. She then proceeded to put my Woodrow in her mouth and treated it like a Tootsie Roll Pop. Except there was no chewy center.

I orgasm instantly. I'd never had sex, but this felt better than anything I'd ever felt before. I could feel her tongue glide up one side and down the other. Suddenly, I freaked. Something squirted into her mouth. She treated it like no big deal.

I took it out, grinning from ear to ear.

"Tiffany, that's the best feeling I've ever had."

"Me too, Jeff. I've never met anyone like you. I think I love you."

"I think I love you, too."

Just then, I woke up, with a tight grip on my unit and a smile on my face. I knew this was too good to be true.