I Have Harry Styles' Daughter || _ParisLights_
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Brief;
The summary sounds very interesting and pulls the reader in; which is very important if you want readers to read your work. It really drags the reader to click the 'Start Reading' button.
Your grammar is okay, not too bad but I notice there were things you needed to fix here and there which is not a total problem if you asked me. It's really minor; I really think you could easily fix that in less than a minute.
Your spelling was like your grammar; there were things you needed to fix here and there, but all the less, it's really minor. But remember this, spelling and grammar are extremely important. DO NOT FORGET THAT. It annoys the reader if you had these type of errors [well mostly spelling is what annoys 'em, but still], and may not continue reading your work. So watch out and quickly proof read before you post the chapter/story just in case [I do this all the time, it helps a bit]
Tenses were on the dot. They were perfect, like you.
The cover is DA BOMB. Sorry, I had to let it out.
My opinions;
I like your writing style, I really do, but you need to be a bit more descriptive. I don't know maybe it's just me; but like try to describe what she is doing like for example:
"Tay looked at me right away,"
Instead do something like this:
"Tay instantly glanced at me," [i know, i know the example sucks but get the point?]
I think the story is going a bit to fast to be honest. I mean on the first chapter they were already having intercourse and by chapter five she knew that she was pregnant. Don't you think it was a bit too fast? I mean it's just my opinion, or was the story this fast?
I hope this helps you,
and i hope you wont kill me.
x
