it's every little thing you do

chapter nineteen

Awkwardness, is the worst thing happen with two person especially for those who are in a relationship. This happens whenever a couple have misunderstanding or something that they can’t agreed mutually. Or sometimes when a person stuck in between two lovers. You can prove it when silence filled your surroundings in an instance. You will know it when you both doesn’t know how to start a conversation.

The next day, awkward, misunderstanding, and silence filled the room. Sarah sitting on the long sofa while kris is leaning on the TV stand. Tongue shrink to the point that no one had spoken for almost an hour, both owned the whole living room and no one bothers to interfere or break that awkward silence between them. Sarah’s head bowed, looking at his lap while hands were shaking, sobs were lightly echoed due to silence. Kris were looking up to the ceiling. Pushing in his tears and controlling his cries.

“what did I do for you to do this to me? It took me so long before I accepted my own feelings for you, and now,,,and now you’re doing this to me.. I’ve waited for~~~kris finally broke that silence, his words were soft but the ache is in every letter of those words coming out from his mouth, forming them one by one in his lips is really hard, it is really hard to convey what he feels right now, he paused and slid down to the floor, sitting like  frustrated one.

“I just need time,,we need time…it’s hard for me to decide like this but I don’t want to ruin everyone.. Sarah manage to talk despite her tightening chest…

“how can you just think like that? I’ve waited for the time to tell you my feelings, im looking forward for the wedding, and I do find a day is taking too long and I want to rush every single minute because I want you to be fully mine, I hated the idea of us being forced to live together but you let me do love every single day with you, I was like, why I need to marry this girl, she’s not even my type, she’s opposite to the girl I want to live with, I always told myself that I need to marry an ordinary girl, a girl who just live a simple life, a non-popular one because I’m afraid,, scared that if my wife is popular too, she will just leave me for her career, she will divorce me like others do for the sake of her career.. Now tell me, did I just made a mistake for pursuing this feelings for you? Are you really leaving to continue with your career? Kris confessed and confronted the girl….

“kris,,I’m not saying that I’m leaving you,,I just want~~~ sarah was surprised, for the first time, kris had spoken his heart out..

“I told you,I love you, but you still want to leave, does my fear reach his own limit now?,, how did I fall for your trap? How can I believe in love? I never cried after saying rude words to a girl, but I did when you came., I usually tell what’s inside me whether it’s rude or not and I don’t care about it, but I did care on what will I tell you after confessing to you. I never did concern to someone but I always tell sehun to take care of you. I never get nervous when someone is missing, I never care if my girl is not around, but I always worried whenever you are out of my sight, I tried to ignore you, but whenever I do that, it makes a stinging feeling inside me. I only do everything for myself but I made you my everything ever since you came into my life.. Kris spat out everything from his heart. He stood up and wipe the uncontrollable tears that came out while talking, he gasp the air for him to breath properly nd mde sure to calm himself but neither a breathing or blowing air wouldn‘t be a help.

“kris…is what sarah had response, she can’t express herself after hearing this words from her fiance. She stood up from her burning seat with her non-stop tears..

“it’s your decision. Seems I can’t persuade you to change your mind. I’m not your husband yet anyway..kris said and turn his right and leave the girl alone.

Sarah sat heavily on the sofa again, crying loudly, her sobs filled the whole house, she tried to control it, cupping his mouth to block any sounds but it’s useless and she can’t help herself. All she can do is cry and just let her sobs echoed in the house.