through feelings and what's unsaid

just like this poem

March 6th, 2016

a poem (a screw everything-and-just write type of poem, i'm sorry for that) about what I felt, based on lots of things around, and for you.

i miss you like the phrases everyone creates
like the traditional "bird waiting for the moon"
like the dog waiting for its owner at the train station
but you never own me
but maybe im just being delusional
maybe im just being me
unlike you
unlike you being one of the most sane person ive ever known
youre not living in my community
of wanderers, of people laughing at the inevitability of the cruel society
filled with people like your friends

i miss you like the typical crazy
as im a strange human adoring a misunderstood angel such as you
but unlike your friends
you are a blooming lily standing up straight within a field full of sharp thin grass cutting my feet and my heart
and my sanity
you are a friend of mine
whom i just recently discovered
before everything seems so right
and after there was just knowing between us

i miss you like you miss your dead mom
torture me
torture me because my mouth has constructed lies
torture me because these foul lips of mine are two total losers
they said the hurtful truths
they said things you wouldnt want to hear
but sadly none of the things i write are lies
and i begin to turn, becoming one of your friends
you wont realize it sooner or later
but none of these are your faults
these are me just being me

i miss you like i miss loving and fondness
of the scraped opinions about affection towards boys
boys with their bright skin and pink pouty lips i liked
the brown eyes illuminating under the sun
having colors
the messy hair and the anti social
their skinny hands
and unlike you
unlike me now
you with your tanned skin with your stiff hair with your willing to live
with the power pulses inside of your green blue veins
you with your dreams and fears and the eagerness of being successful

i miss you because ive been missing the way we talked
in the most unoriginal way
being inauthentic
but realistically just right
im being inconsistent
being a full blower of constant adjectives
i am a nonsense
but then again im me just being me
maybe thats why you tease me
tease this fragile fourteen year old girl with an urge
to pour out her rambling thoughts
her ability to design a total insincere feeling
and a fake adoration
but she with a genuine love towards you
and sadly none of the things i write are lies

people changed
just like both of us
and theyre not going to be
your friends
nor mine
but missing and blaming
are the cores of this whole literature
and i miss you
just like this poem

-Faragals-

***** ****** ******

pic: credits to weheartit

personal note:

-(my poems are usually super obvious, maybe you guys a.k.a my friends can try to guess which poem based on who haha)

-crinckletommo , aku tau ini alay juga, sebetulnya aku tidak mempunyai doi maupun luka, tapi terimakasih atas tawaran baikmu, kawan. 😊