Goodbye to food

Chapter 4

It was 12:40 when our class went to lunch. Instead of standing in the front of the line to get my food first,like yesterday, I just walked to the back of the line.
When most of my class was heading off to lunch I was sneaking into the library,again. This time I searched up Pro Ana quotes.
I skimmed over a few but by the time my class was leaving lunch I found only one that stuck in my head,constantly replaying,like a broken record.
"I want to go to sleep and not wake up, but I don't want to die. I want to eat like a normal person eats, but I need to see my bones or I will hate myself even more and I might cut my heart out or take every pill that was ever made."
By the time school was over, I was starving, but instead of walking home I went to the park. When I got to the park I sat down my bag in an empty bench and pulled out my phone and headphones, I then called my mom. After a couple of rings she finally picked up the phone.
"Hello?" My mom said.
"Hey,mom I'm going to be at the park for a little while." I spoke into the phone.
"Why." My mom asked wearily.
"Just because I want to get a little run in, so is it ok if I get home a little late?" I asked.
"Yah it's fine,but just be home before 4:30,ok,"
"Ok, I will. Thanks,bye. Love you." I said before ending the call.
I plugged in my headphones and turned on a playlist of my favorite songs. I then started running. I got tired really fast so I slowed to a jog then a walk. I kept running even though I was panting and out of breath.
"Keep going,you have to be thin. One more lap!" I repeatedly said to myself.
Eventually I couldn't carry on so I sat down at the bench that my bag was at and I took my headphones out of my ears. After about 10 minutes i slowly stood up,grabbed my bag, and began walking home.