Blank Pages

Eight

AN: Hi, guys!! Sorry this took a while, I've been feeling pretty down and uninspired almost all week. But hey, it's technically still Sunday, so I've kept my word hahaha. Anyway, if any of you have read the chapter called Unfinished in After Freeze, this chapter—and ultimately this entire fic—is actually inspired by the first draft I posted there, so if some of the dialogue here seems familiar, it's because that draft is what this whole story is based on 😊As always, thank you all so much for your lovely comments and feedback—I promise to try and reply as much as I can tomorrow. A special thank you to @BarengMao on Twitter for his input which helped me write this update. Hope you enjoy this 😊 Again, please feel free to tweet me what you think @silent_shipper 😊

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"Aray ko beh," Mark scratches his head and remarks in an uncanny impression of his wife. It's Tuesday night and he and Richard are at a quiet, inconspicuous bar near the latter's office. They both like coming here because it never gets too crowded; there's never any of that head-pounding, heart-thumping electronic dance music playing too loud; and they serve the best draft beer in Metro Manila.

"Yeah," Richard agrees glumly, taking a sip from the tall glass in front of him.

"Na-friendzone ka na nga, na-it's complicated ka pa. Ouch talaga, dude."

"I know, okay? I was there. No need to rub it in."

"Sorry, sorry. Alam mo naman I just feel for you, man. Ano nga ulit yung pangalan ng guy?"

"Caloy daw."

Carlos Iñigo de Asis, to be exact. The lanky, boyish-looking guy with thick black frames in Maine's earlier Instagram photos. He was her first and only boyfriend—she'd told Richard—and they were together for more than ten years, ever since a 16-year-old Caloy stumbled upon 14-year-old Maine sitting on a curb in their high school's parking lot, crying and eating her lunch.

"Sobrang mukha akong tanga," she'd narrated, laughing a little, as they sat in his car last night. "We'd just transferred to a new school, and I was having a terrible time adjusting. I was so shy, and the thought of eating in the cafeteria with all those other kids was too terrifying, so I used to just go and eat in the parking lot. But I guess the loneliness finally got to me that day, so I started crying. Then I ran into Caloy...late kasi siya pumasok—I think he had an early dentist appointment or something—kaya he was just entering the school when he saw me..."

She'd looked into Richards eyes then and shrugged. "Since then, we were almost inseparable. He was my best friend—my savior. I couldn't have made it through high school—or even college, really—if Caloy hadn't been there for me."

"So what happened?" Richard asked. "Why did you break up?"

At this, she had hesitated and looked away. She didn't speak for a full five minutes, and Richard didn't press her, letting her take her time. Besides, he was too busy processing his own feelings anyway. When Maine finally spoke again, he noticed there were tears in her eyes once more.

"After we both graduated from college, we started talking about getting married. Yung mga casual na usapan lang. We knew naman na we couldn't do it right away 'cause he was still in med school and everything, pero pinagusapan nga namin a few times. I guess by that time we'd already been together for so long that we both just naturally assumed we'd be endgame. Coleen used to tease me nga," she added, chuckling softly, "About what my initials would be once we got hitched. Maine Mendoza de Asis..."

"MMDA," Richard finished for her.

"That's right. Anyway, so life sort of got in the way for a while—I got busy with work, and he got super busy with school—and then eventually his internship, so all talk of marriage took a backseat for a while until he started his residency."

Maine shifted in her seat and glanced at Richard. "He—he finally proposed last year, right after my birthday. He planned this whole romantic dinner at my favorite Italian restaurant, and he popped the question during dessert—"

Another long pause, and this time Richard couldn't help himself. "Tapos anong nangyari?" He asked.

"I couldn't say yes," she blurted out, and the tears that had been sparkling in her eyes like tiny diamonds finally spilled onto her cheeks. "I loved him so much—he was my best friend in the whole world—and he always so good to me—the best boyfriend a girl could ask for—but somehow I just couldn't say yes."

In a way, Richard understood. As she stammered out the rest of the story in between sobs, he thought back to their first date and their conversation about her feeling lost and not knowing what she wanted to do with her life. Caloy's proposal had come at the height of her confusion, just as she was considering leaving her well-paying but ultimately unfulfilling job at a hotel. At the same time, he couldn't blame Caloy for feeling hurt and betrayed. He had been so sure that Maine would marry him—had had no reason to believe otherwise. As much as Richard wanted to dislike Caloy (after all, he was the reason Maine wouldn't consider dating Richard, so they were—for all intents and purposes—rivals) he couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy.

"So now you know what a huge flake I am," Maine had sighed, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. "After I turned him down, I quit my job and stayed with my sister Niki—who lives in Australia—for a while. Then when my visa expired, I figured it was time to stop running and face the music. Now I'm back and trying to figure things out and to—to make things right—especially with Caloy."

She took a deep breath and gave Richard another pleading glance. "And that's why I can't be more than friends with you. I'm so messed up—I need to sort myself out. And I need to do right by Caloy. I owe him that much—after I hurt him so badly, and he was never anything but good to me."

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"Well, I'm sorry it didn't work out," says Mark, lowering his glass onto the table with a loud clunk and giving Richard a hearty slap on the back. "Pero wag kang mawalan ng pagasa, dude. There's still plenty of fish in the sea. Sayang lang, I thought Maine was pretty cool."

"She is cool," is Richard's quiet reply. "And I'm going to see her again."

"Huh?"

"I still want to see her again."

"I thought she said—"

"She said she can't offer me more than friendship," Richard points out. "Edi sige, okay lang. We'll just be friends."

Mark gives his best friend an apprehensive look. "I don't know if that's such a good idea, man."

"Why not?" Demands Richard.

"Well, for one thing, there's the bro code. I mean, sige, technically hindi na sila. But if she still has feelings for him—and it sounds like she does—then technically, she's still his girl, right?"

"I don't know, dude. Parang medyo gray area siya."

"Well, ewan ko lang. I'm just saying that you of all people know what it's like to have your girl—alam mo na yun..."

"Alam ko."

"Ayun na nga. So alam mo rin kung gaano kasakit yun."

"Yeah, I know. But like I said, we'll just be friends and nothing more. Wala naman siguro masama dun."

Mark scratches his chin and casts another doubtful glance at his friend. Richard sighs. "Look, ang sabi niyo ni Tere I need to figure out if she's just a rebound girl or not. And I did—I figured out that I really like her—as a person, not just as a potential fling or future girlfriend. She's funny, she's smart, she's spontaneous...and I like spending time with her. So I'm going to ask her out again—I won't let her push me away."

Mark shakes his head and sighs. "Sige, bahala ka nga. Malaki ka na, siguro alam mo naman yung ginagawa mo. I just don't want to see you get hurt again, man."

"Ang sweet mo talaga, honey."

His friend throws him a dirty look, and Richard's expression turns serious. "Joke lang. Kidding aside, I appreciate your concern. But don't worry, I won't let myself get hurt, or do anything to get in between Maine and Caloy."

Mark shakes his head again skeptically and drains the last of his beer. "Whatever you say. One thing's for sure—mukhang tama nga si Maine. It's complicated nga—and it looks like things are about to get even more so. Good luck na lang, Faulkerson."