Legend has it that "sluts" are lurking all around. You might encounter one on a shadowy street corner or posing in a magazine. But those tricksters also blend in easily at school, at church functions, and even in your own home. Constant vigilance is...
When it comes to "slut" shaming, we can't make any progress if we don't have tough conversations. Speaking among other girls and women can be a huge relief because we can find solidarity in those who have survived similar ordeals. But we can't stop there. In order for us to make change on a cultural level, we need to get boys and men on board with our mission. And the sooner we can reach them, the better.
That's because regardless of gender, as we get older our beliefs become more ingrained and it becomes harder to think critically about them. In school, we're encouraged to read, discuss, and learn about new concepts all the time. We expect to change our opinions about important topics as we learn new information and hear new perspectives. But soon, we fall out of that habit. The longer we've been alive, the longer we've taken for granted that certain assumptions are true, including normative gender roles. It's especially hard for us to question these assumptions if we believe we have benefited from them our whole lives, the way men may believe they have benefited from "slut" shaming.
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But the truth is, no one benefits from "slut" shaming. Sexist norms hurt us all. The fact that girls, women, and LGBTQ folk face inequalities all over the world should be enough, but unfortunately, the deeply rooted sexism that props up "slut" shaming also means that for many people, our experiences aren't convincing unless they also include boys and men.
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Even for those of us who do place equal value on female voices, it can be helpful to explore the opposite side of the coin: the sometimes surprising ways "slut" shaming negatively affects the people who aren't targeted by it. That way, when we're confronted with a guy who just doesn't see why he needs to care about these issues, we're prepared with answers. I want to stress that it is not on us to educate people about the ways we are marginalized in a society that favors them and their experiences. But if we're in a position to influence a straight male friend, sibling, or classmate, it helps to be able to demonstrate that "slut" shaming is their problem, too.
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