Look After Me

Chapter 2: Home Is Where I Need You

I turned the keys and pulled them out of the ignition, my head falling forward on the steering wheel, “Oh God, Hanna,” I mumbled. I thought maybe if I kept my mind on how much I had missed Garret and the cat, I wouldn’t have to recognize Noah’s absence. I looked up at the beautiful historic Victorian home we had all bought together, filling my lungs with the heavy air. I had to get out of the car before I was smothered in it.

I grabbed my purse from the passenger seat and flung my door open. The breeze cleared my head a bit, but not enough to brush off the black Audi in the drive. Noah's pride and joy. I turned quickly away, my back on it and the home, looking at the dirty concrete. “Keep it together, girl. You have to feed the damn cat, and then you can go back to Mom’s.” Knowing perfectly well that there was no way Garret wasn’t feeding him. I turned slowly, back around, walking towards the steps, taking my time up them. My eyes began to sting.

Garret opened the door as I reached the porch and the smell of Asian Cuisine filled my nostrils. Yum, my favorite.

“I knew you would come.” He wrapped me in a tight, one armed hug, his other arm, holding out a sticky bowl of teriyaki sauce. I could feel the tears coming. I needed a distraction.

I stood on my tip-toes to look over his shoulder. “Where’s my baby? Are you starving him?” he kissed the top of my head before I pushed past him. “Poundcake!” I heard the faint jingle of his collar coming down the back stairs, making me smile, instinctively.

“You think that blob could let me forget to feed him?” he laughed as the fat orange cat waddled around the corner to me, rubbing all over my awful black skirt.

“I missed you, my little ball of fluff!” I said, getting headbutted, he was purring loudly, like he hadn’t seen me in a lifetime.

I followed Garret into the kitchen, Poundcake at our heels. I thankful that every room on the way there had been cleared of Noah’s clutter.

I had purchased nearly every item of furniture and decor in the place with money we had all three set aside after the move. At the time, we were just grateful to have a place to sit, but now, I wondered how they hadn’t complained about the girly shabby chic look I had gone with.

“The rice is almost ready, and then we can eat.” He poured the bowl he was carrying into a pan of chicken, and stirred. My stomach growled as I realized just how hungry I really was. “I know how you get. I didn’t think you had eaten since our date. So I made your favorite.”

He was right. I hadn’t eaten since Friday night and it was Monday afternoon. I counted how many missed meals that was, sighing. Noah, this is your fault, I thought, sitting at the dining room table. I watched him spoon fluffy, white rice into two bowls, before topping them off with teriyaki chicken. He pulled a girly alcoholic beverage out of the fridge and grabbed a beer for himself.

“Don’t look so shocked.” He set the drink and bowl in front of me, sitting across from me. I hadn’t seen him drink anything but wine with dinner. “I know how to get around here, and this is it.” He popped the can open and chugged.

“I’m glad I’m not the only one that’s going to be stumbling around here like a drunken idiot.”

He squinted at me, smirked and chuckled out a “I couldn’t do that without a guilty conscience.” Making me laugh.

We sat in silence, while we ate, watching each other, trying not to address the elephant in the room. I was happy to ignore it and he seemed to be too. As much as Noah meant to me, I didn’t want to have to think about him. He was the other part of me. The part that kept me sane. The one who kept me safe. To ignore the fact that I felt naked without him, was refreshing, as I downed my second pink drink, sticking my pinkie out in humor. Garret was on his second beer, obviously ignoring that voice in his head, saying he should stop after one.