i'm crazy for ya, batty

Don't mess with the joker

Okay, so I decided to make this a one-shot series. These aren't in any specific order so... Yeah. Enjoy

I saw him come in and smiled " it took ya longer to find my daddy's hideout this time, Batty. What took ya so long? You gettin' old or something? Ehehehehe." I said as I got out of my daddy's chair. " I set up something for us, ya know. No jokes. I even sent my dickhead of a father out on a fake mission, he took mom with him. He grounded me for not killing you when we first met. You 'member that? Your 16th birthday? Anyway, I set up a romantic Dinn'a for us." I smiled as I pushed a button on a remote I was holding and a dart shot at batty. I laughed as he fell to the floor unconscious.

" ugh, where am I?" I heard batty say as I put down my tea cup.

" hey, batty, have a good nap? Hehehe. I had to uh... Tie ya up so ya wouldn't get away from me. Took your little bat toys too. Oooh what's this thing do?"  I asked as I took out a bat shaped thing and threw it. It came back to me after a while " sweet a boomerang! Ooh I know what I can do with this! Hehehe!" I said as I took out my pocket knife along with some of my purple lipstick. I noticed batty Lookin' at me as I put the lipstick on. Probably wondering what I was gonna do. I pursed my lips to let the lipstick settle on my lips and then I placed a kiss on the boomerang. I looked up and smiled at him. Batty just stared at me curiously "what? I sometimes need a stencil for my carvings. Nothing wrong with that"  I said as I then started carving my kiss print into his boomerang.

" why don't you just carve a smile like your dad does?" Batty asked curiously. I shrugged.

" that's his thing. Not mine. I don't want to be known only as  the jokers daughter, ya know? Plus I wanted my 'signature' to be a little more girly. I might be a mass murderer, but your signatures your own, ya know. If I just copy my dad's signature well, that's plagiarism, batty. And that. is. bad." I explained to him as I wiggle my finger at him like a mother would a child.

" and murder isn't?" Batty muttered rolling his eyes. I giggled but let it slide.

" well it is, but it's the family business." I sighed as I finished. " one bat toy down. Lots to go hehehe!" I said as I started humming a song to myself. " blood still stains when the sheets are washed, sex don't sleep when the lights are off. Kids are still depressed when you dress them up, and syrup is still syrup in a sippy cup. He's still dead when you're done with the bottle. Of course it's a corpse that you keep in the cradle, kids are still depressed when you dress them up and syrup is still syrup in a sippy cuuuup" I sang as I altered more of batty's toys. " what? It's a song I came up with" I said as I looked up at batty. Batty rolled his eyes. I giggled and went back to tinkering with his toys.

" you know, you have a beautiful voice. I don't know why you don't just-" batty started but then I heard a familiar voice...

" I am going to kill her! Strangle her!  Cut her! I dunno! She gave us the wrong fucking directions!" I heard my daddy say as he came in

" puddin, she's just a kid. Kids do make mistakes." My mama pointed out

" oh go have sex with deadhead why don't ya?!" My daddy screamed at my mama.

" I said I was sorry for that, puddin!" I could hear my dad abusing my mama again. A tear rolled down my cheek that I quickly wiped away. I hummed the song to myself to calm down. When I opened my eyes I saw batty smiling at me sympathetically.

"DIMPLES YOU GET THE FUCK DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!" I heard daddy yell at me. I rolled my eyes

" NO!" I yelled back "BATTY AND I ARE HAVIN' A ROMANTIC EVENING!"

I heard my daddy coming up the stairs. He burst down my door. " hi daddy. Look, I kidnapped batman for ya." I smiled at him. He rolled his eyes.

" that-" he said pointing to batty " is Batsy  junior, kid. I wanted the original Batsy-"

" my dad's retired." Batty said to my daddy.

" oh yeah?" My daddy asked as he got his knife out. I still can't believe he carved a stupid smile into his knife. He got on the table and walked over to batty. He put his knife to batty's face. " why don't you be a good little bat and tell me who your father is and I won't carve out your eyeballs!" I gasped as I rushed over to batty and hugged him

" daddy! Don't kill batty! I want him and I to be a perfect family." I said as I kissed his cheek.

" oh yeah?" My daddy asked laughing " and I wanna be in a band that has something to do with Mars but that's not gonna happen, IS IT?!" I giggled a little at the thought of my dad being in a band and singing for a living. Maybe in an alternate universe sure. But not here in Gotham. " go to your room before I hurt you too!" I didn't move. " excuse me, Batsy jr."  My daddy said as he grabbed my throat and pushed me to the wall. " listen, you whore, you fucked up and I am not in the mood. So if you want out of here with your flesh still intact then you will not question me. Oh and don't start with that cry baby bullshit. It doesn't work when Harley does it, it won't work when you do it. Now, go.to.your.fucking.room!" My daddy yelled at me as he slapped me hard.

A few minutes later I was doing a magic trick my daddy had taught me. It was a pencil trick... Well it wasn't really a trick, it was more of a murder technic. I tried it with my teddy bear. The pencil went through the bear's eye. I giggled then sighed. I looked at the picture of Batty. I kissed my hand and put it to the picture. I then grabbed out my notepad and started writing down another verse of the song 'sippy cup'