Niall and The Mysterious Nail File

Chapter 3

I opened my eyes, only to see darkness. I tried to recollect the events that have just occurred. First, I got a nail file in the mail with no explanation. Then, the next morning, the nail file shoots up at me. That's all I could remember. How is this possible? What caused this? This may sound crazy, if not insane. Did the nail file come to life? It made no sense. Nail files aren't living things, right? My thoughts are interrupted as my eyes are blinded with light.

"Good. You're awake," a mysterious voice says.

"Who said that?" I asked. All I could see was the nail file.

"It was me, the nail file, you ding dong. Humans are so stupid," the nail file said angrily.

"You talk? How is this possible?" I asked in confusion.

"Well, I'm the only nail file out there who can speak. I was just born this way," the nail file replied.

"Why did you do this to me? I always thought I was nice to the nail file community," I said, trying to free myself from the restraints.

"I was assigned to assassinate you, which I will do very soon," the nail file answered.

"WHAT?! WHY?! WHO SENT YOU?! I HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR! I NEED TO GO TO A GOLF TOURNAMENT TOMORROW I CAN'T MISS IT! PLUS, I WAS GONNA GO TO A 5SOS CONCERT NEXT WEEK YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!" I shouted in a mix of sadness and fright.

"I get paid good money if I do this job. I'll give you one phone call; I'm feeling nice today," the nail file explained.

"Look, I'll do anything, just don't kill me," I pleaded.

"Anything?" the nail file asked curiously.

"It depends what you want," I mentioned.

"Can I be perfectly honest with you? the nail file asked.

"Uhh...sure," I answered reluctantly.
"I want to find my soulmate. Someone who I can spend the rest of my life with. I can't be an assassin forever! I'm ready to settle down," the nail file confessed.

"To be perfectly honest with you, no girl will see being an assassin as a good quality," I explained.

"No, I don't want to date a girl; I want to date the perfect nail file for me," the nail file said.

"I thought you were the only living nail file," I said confusingly.

"That's where you come in," the pink file began, "You'll help me create my dream nail file."

"How exactly are we supposed to do that?" I asked.

"Science. Pure science," the nail file said in awe.

"I don't understand. What do you mean by science?" I asked once again.
"I've been researching everything on bringing things to life, from encyclopedias to Frankenstein, I've read it all. I've come up with the perfect solution, but I'll need your help," the nail file explained.

"I'll help you, but could you untie me first; I'm very uncomfortable," I suggested.

"Okay, fine," the nail file agreed. Soon, I was untied and I could finally feel my arms.

"So, do you have a name?" I asked.

" I never really thought of that. I guess I don't," the nail file replied.

"I say we come up with one," I suggested, "What kind of names do you like?"

"I mean, I've always liked the name Jerry," the nail file said with excitement.

"A little random, but Jerry it is!" I exclaimed, "What exactly do we have to do to find your soulmate?"

"Well, we first need to find a nail file that fits the bill. Then, we have to wait until a lunar eclipse. Next, we must use a certain type of illegal electricity to shock the nail file with, and boom, we have my soulmate," Jerry explained.

"Wow," I said, practically speechless.

"I can't wait to start my own family!" Jerry shouted happily.

"Uh, how exactly do nail files have children? I mean, you're nail files," I said, hoping for an accurate response.

"You see, when a male nail file and a female nail file love each other very much-" Jerry began.

"Okay never mind!" I shouted, "I just remembered, there's supposed to be a lunar eclipse tomorrow night!"

"Really? Just my luck. So, we'll purchase the nail file today, then we'll get the form of electricity we need tomorrow," Jerry explained.

"Sounds like a plan," I said joyously because I was still happy to be alive, "Jerry, let's go get you a soulmate.

Shoutout to my homie Lauren for coming up with Jerry as the nail file's name.

QOTD (Imma get problematic on this one): Team Kimye or Team Taylor?

AOTD: I usually go with Taylor but I have to go with Kimye this time.