Something For Him {Oikawa Tooru x Reader} [short-story]

"Other Options"

You were sitting up hugging your knees against your chest. Your fist digging into the hospital gown you were wearing until they were losing their shades. Your body was tense all over as you bit your bottom lip and prayed in your thoughts that nothing have happened.

It was at around 1 in the morning when you woke up to the pooling of blood between your legs. Your heart dropped as you recall that scene. The little one in you have just reached its 3 months. You and Oikawa were just talking about how smoothly the process was coming along this time the night before. Guilt begins to evade you, and you start blaming yourself for neglecting that holding a steady pregnancy was never an easy process for you, so why did you, for that moment of excitement, forget to care for the baby. Tears hung onto your eyes as you continue to self blame. Your body grew even colder, until a hand touched yours, warming you up a little.

Oikawa had been sitting next to you. You can tell from the look on his face that he too have been blaming himself. But he manages to pull a smile just to reassure you. He takes your hand into his and holds on tightly. "Everything is going to be ok. The doctors are still looking at the results. I know that this little guy is going to be a strong one."

You look at his smile and was taken aback by how strong your husband was. You then decided that it's too early to cry. You wiped away the tears in your eyes and tightened your grip on his hand "Everything is going to be ok..." you whispered to yourself right before the doctor came with the results. You and Oikawa held each others hand tighter as you two sat up straight, anxious to know the results.

"Mr. and Mrs. Oikawa..." the doctor said with a calm voice. "...I'm sorry to say that this one did not make it, you have my condolences."

Your shoulder fell forward as your throat hardened. Oikawa catches your shoulder in his arms as he held you tightly.

"I understand that this is big news to take in, so I'll give you some time alone before we talk about the removal process, please excuse me," the doctor gives a full 90 degrees bow and left the room.

As soon as the doctor closes the door, you broke down. You wrapped your arms around Oikawa's waist, holding on for dear life. He too held onto you, not even holding back the tears he didn't want anyone to ever see. His heart wept for the child, but specifically wept for you who had been over the moon since the pregnancy test.

Your heart grew weaker as reality sinks in deeper. "I-I'm sorry!" you muffled between your sobs. Apologies after another, that's all that you can do. Sorry for the child that never got to see the world. Sorry for disappointing a very excited expecting father. Sorry for not listening to the doctors. Sorry for being weak.

"Stop blaming yourself," your husband squeezed you tighter.

"T-the first one,....the second...now the third.." you sobbed at each count. "They were all killed by me! I selfishly wanted them, disregarding that fact that my body can't protect them!"

"Oi!" Oikawa shouted as he grew angry at you for blaming yourself. "That's something beyond your power! Also...." Oikawa's voice began to break. "I also selfishly wanted them! Don't blame just yourself! ...I'm at fault here too...let me shoulder some of the guilt as well."

You apologize once more and brought him into your arms. "God must still be punishing me for the first child..."

-Summary of First Pregnancy-

Your first child was conceived during your second year in college. You and Oikawa were not in a relationship yet, but you two have been friends since the first year of college. Though you had liked Oikawa since the beginning, you've learned to brush it aside for the sake of staying friends.