I Can't Help It. (A Johnny Vincent fanfic, from Bully

21

Maria

I don't want to leave Johnny's arms. I know I have to go see Derby in the park. It's not close to the time, but he'll be there anyway. I remove myself from the embrace. I look at him and kiss him. I leave the autoshop. I walk into town and go to meet Derby. I really do like this part of town. It reminds me of home. When I arrive at the park, I see Derby talking with Tad and Bif. He notices me and smiles.

"You're early, Love." He says, coming up to me.

"Well this is my group of friends now. Where else would I be?" I say.

"I like that attitude." He says, taking my hand. "Now, my dear, what were you doing yesterday?"

"Derby, I want to be completely honest with you." I begin, "I wanted to talk to Johnny and explain why him and I couldn't be together. So I went to New Coventry. I asked his boys for him, and they took me to this room place. They gave me a clear liquid and said it was water. Next thing I know, I'm on that bridge." Okay, I may have lied a bit but not much.

"Oh okay. Well I'm glad you're here now. You have no idea how much I worry about you. Yeah, I like you romantically. But you've been one of my closest friends all my life. I worry." He said softly, putting his hand on my face.

"I'm sorry, Derby." I whispered, wrapping my arms around him. I always want to just cry around Derby and Johnny. They're both so important to me. I tear up a little. Derby realizes this, and begins to caress my head and wrap his other arm around my back.

"Don't cry, Maria. It's okay now."

"But it's not Derby!" I remove my arms from him and separate. "I've been lying to you! I have feelings for Johnny! But I think I have them for you too! I don't understand anymore! Derby, I'm going to end up marrying you in the future! You know this. And here I am, sneaking away to be with Johnny! I'm always with him when you're done with me! I've been lying to you!"

I instantly regretted my words. I looked at Derby's face and it had turned red. I know him, his face only gets red when he's extremely angry. Tears formed in his eyes. I haven't seen Derby cry since we were 7.

"I love you, Maria. I have since we were 9." He whispers, and turns away, beginning to shout. "That greaser will fucking pay! I don't care! You're mine! Daddy even said so!"

"I know. My father said so, too. We're going to be together. I'm your future wife." I admitted. I'm promised to Derby. I'm the only girl outside of his family his parents approve of. Seeing Derby crying like this had me on the verge of tears. I became weak, only being able to speak quietly.

The sky has been gray all day, and finally thunder strikes. Derby looks up, and begins to walk, placing his hand on my back. We run, him taking me to the largest house on the block.

"Mommy and daddy are out as usual. Work." He faintly says, opening the door. "It's just us."

"Derby, I'm so sorry." I weakly say.

"Maria, if you really care for Johnny I don't know what I can do. I thought I was actually winning your heart."

"That's the thing. I care about Johnny but this is killing me seeing you like this." I says, approaching him and placing my hands on his shoulders.

"Well it's killing me seeing you with him." He whispered, with the saddest eyes I've seen. This is not the Derby I know. He's not arrogant, or loud.

"I'm going to be your wife, Harrington." I told him, avoiding his gaze.

"I know that." He lifts my chin. "But I can't be with you, if this is not what making you happy." His face comes closer and closer, until he kisses me softly. When we separate, he looks sad once again. "Deal's off, love. Date who you want. I'm always here when you figure it out. I love you."

He walks away, and goes away in the house. I decide to leave, and find Johnny. I feel empty, as if I just lost my best friend..

•••

A/N sorry for the delay! But I'm writing the next chapter right now! So two new ones! Woo!