Lights On

Chapter I: Dancing Away

I was awakened by the sound of cellular phones ringing, people chatting away, and the noise of traffic just outside this glass window. Drowsily, I checked if all my belongings were still on my lap. They were still here.

As if by instinct I looked outside of the window and watched as the sun hid itself from the earth, painting the skies into the fiery marmalade tints I have always adored. I watched as it sunk so peacefully, filling my heart with such sadness.

As it gets darker, I touched my cheeks with my cold hands and frowned as the sun waves its last rays to say good bye.

When I left home, no one said good bye.

The skies became dark and everything else became a blur.

I clasped my hands together, praying the same thing over and over.

Please keep the lights on.

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"Is it still that far?" I asked the old woman who sat beside me. She looked at me and just sighed. "Miss, two more hours more. If we'll be stuck in the traffic when we enter the next city after this, it'll add another hour." She softly replied, but now with a hint of annoyance. I've been asking her for three hours already. Always the same question.

I sat there, inside a bus filled with strangers. Anxious to get where they wanted to go. I hear quiet sobs, loud laughter and voices filled with both excitement and fear. Right now I don't understand what I feel, because I didn't want to feel anything at all.

She's a complete stranger to me, just like everyone else inside this bus. And I'm travelling for the first time on my own.

I must be afraid that things are going to change so much, but I always knew that I'm that kind of person who will not let such trivial things stop me from getting what I want.

Just this time, I'll pretend to want what he wants.

Maybe it will make me feel better. Maybe.

I could not see much of the view; it was foggy and too dim. The old woman left already. We didn't say good bye to one another though. She probably thought I was asleep because my eyes were closed most of the time when the night clouds covered the sky.

My name's Astrid. My mom says I shine like a star, but my dad thinks otherwise. He thinks I'm a useless piece of rock that fell on their lap.

I only shine in the darkness, because my own light is faint. And I will never shine any brighter than this.

This must be the reason why I am on my own now.

I was trying to justify my existence by fixing my fate. A fate intricately designed to keep me in the shadows of my own dim light.

And then I felt a pair of eyes staring at me as I was contemplating.