Heartbeat

Heart Rates

This morning I wake up at ten-thirty, which is good for me, because I usually sleep until eight.

When I go in the pantry, I find my favorite cereal- Coco Puffs.

The whole time, I have my phone by my side, having some hope for Ethan.

Of course I get nothing.

Sometimes I feel so stupid. It's not like Saturday morning he would call me and make me feel amazing.

My mom walks in the room.

"Good morning."

"Oh, hi. Did you have breakfast yet?"

No, I'm just sitting here brushing the crumbs off the table and onto my plate which I never used.

"Yeah. I saw that you bought Coco Puffs," I say, smiling.

"Alyssa, I need to talk to you about something."

I can't even imagine what she would want to tell me.

"What?"

"When you went to the doctors Tuesday after school.. they told me you had an extremely high and abnormal heart rate. Your doctor wants us to come in for another checkup regarding that."

I stare at her.

"What does that mean?"

She is about to speak, but I stop her.

"When will we go for the checkup?"

"I'm really sorry, but they want us to come in immediately- as soon as we can."

My mom looks at me, then looks down again.

"So we will have to go tomorrow. Your appointment is scheduled for eleven."

"But what do you mean, abnormal heart rate?"

This time I focus on my heart beat speeding up as I feel my nervousness expand.

"Hunny, we will see. I don't have all of the details right now. All I know is that your heart rate is high and your blood pressure is increasing," she pauses.

"I don't think it can be that bad. As long as the checkup goes well, you will be perfectly fine."

I can't stand it.

"But what if it DOES go badly? What will happen then? What if my heart rate gets even higher?"

"I'm sure nothing like that will happen. We haven't had any problems like this before. But if you do, we will handle it calmly, and do what the doctor's requirements are. It's going to be fine."

"Okay. I guess I will be upstairs now."

Walking up the stairs, I glance at my phone.

Still no new messages.

That whole day I'm worrying about the appointment.

When the time comes to go to the doctors, I freak out.

"Alyssa?"

I reluctantly walk into the little room with my mom.

"Hello. How are we doing today?"

The nurse is holding a tablet that I'm guessing says something like:

'Alyssa Burn- abnormal heart rate'

"Good," My mom finally replies.

You can tell she is nervous, too.

After the nurse asks the same questions she asked last checkup, she leaves.

"Doctor Clyne will be with you shortly."

The room is silent. Not a sound from either of us.

He comes in with mysterious tools.

"Good to see you again," he says.

No. Not good. This is only the appointment that will determine if I have some rare disease or not.

"Today I will check your blood pressure and your heart rate, then from there we will do some tests."

Tests?

"Okay," my mom says nervously.

After he checks my blood pressure, he shrugs.

"Your blood pressure is completely fine right now."

I feel relief go through me, and I can also see it on my mom's face.

"Breath normally. I'm checking your heart rate."

Trying to breath as slow and calmly as possible, he shakes his head.

"I'm not trying to scare you, but it's far above average. Your heart rate is even higher than it was earlier this week."

My mom starts to ask him questions and I trail off. I don't want to hear my issues. I just want to be normal.

"We will do just a few more things now. First we will take the rate of your index finger."

After going through several stupid tests, he leaves.

"I will be right back."

When he comes back in, there are two other nurses with him.

Doctor Clyne goes to whisper with my mom outside as I am in the room with the nurses.

"Alyssa? Is that your name?"

"Yes," I say, shivering.

"Okay. Alyssa, we have diagnosed you with something a little too complicated to explain. It is called Tachicardia."

I stutter.

"Wha- what's that?"

"In shorter forms, it is when the electrical charges from Your heart are firing abnormally, which interferes with your your heart beating properly. That's why you have a very high heart rate."

"Oh," I mumble.

"You may feel dizzy, but it will be fine, okay? Your mom is getting some information on treatments."

"Um... Okay."

"We are really sorry."

They leave, and my mom comes back in the room.

Once we get in the car, I can barely breathe.

I look out the window and hold back my tears.

When I feel a tear run down my cheek, I check my phone.

Two missed calls from Ethan.

I feel horrible.

First, I am diagnosed with some weird disease that is terrible for my health, and second, I didn't pick up Ethan's calls.

I keep my head in my hands the whole car ride.

I'm crying.