You've Got Time - An Everlark Fanfiction

NINE

Katniss POV

"So your ex set you up a job where you two have to work together?" Annie asks me after I finish explaining my situation because I came into the diner hall with, according to Annie, 'a face that could rip someone's head off'.

"Yeah, he's crazy but smart god I hate that" I sigh.

"You must've loved it at one point?"

"I used to" I murmur.

"Do you think you'll ever go back there with him?"

"What like in a relationship?" I question.

"Maybe or what he suggested"

"Not in a relationship but I already know that in this place I could be tempted to go back for sex"

"So you're one of those lucky ones that can have sex with someone but doesn't catch feelings?"

"I never used to be" I admit.

"You still don't want to go out on a date?" Peeta asks me for the fifth time this week.

"No I told you it's just casual" I tell him but I know that's not true. We've been 'seeing' each other for about three weeks now and when I first met him or well the morning after, he asked me to go on a date with him but I don't know.

I feel like there's more to Peeta that hits the eye and I'm scared. I'm scared because if I go on a date with him I know I'll start liking him. I'll get attached and nothing, no one, will be able to drive me away from him.

That scares me. I see the looks Peeta gets in the streets, I know there's something more to him and if it turns out to be bad, I don't know if I would walk away from him.

The good thing about it being casual is my feels aren't all there yet. That's what Peeta thinks anyway. I know what my feelings are for him, I like him. I like him a lot. He just doesn't know that, if he did I would be tied to him.

I go over and over this argument in my head almost everyday but yet I still get no outcome.

I see the sad look on his face everytime I tell him 'no' to a date and it hurts me. I don't like to see him sad. That's when I eventually make my decision.

I'm going to keep seeing him no matter what, let's face it its too good to stop, and the more I see him, even if it is casual, the more I like him so why not just go on a few dates? I'm going to end up attached even this way, that's the effect Peeta has on me, but at least with dates I could be an actual couple with him.

I mean really, what's the worst that could happen?

I laugh at myself now. I laugh at what I thought back then.

'What's the worst that could happen?'

I was so clueless. Little did I know that years later I would be sent to prison for getting involved with him. I don't regret the first year of our relationship, I don't know what he did then, even though I hated the lying, I wasn't involved. That's the only thing that tells me that Peeta really did care about me.

He cared about me enough to not tell me, to not burden me with his 'work'. Although I have my doubts now that he maybe just didn't tell me because he didn't trust me, but in here I can't afford to think like that.

I know I can't make an enemy out of Peeta. I've seen what happens to people that do. But that doesn't mean I have to like him either although I'm seriously attempting to take up his offer of 'hate sex' because it's only been a week in here and I'm already frustrated. The only thing about Peeta is that he would take that as I like him again. But then if I made it clear... Oh who knows? We'll see what happens in that library.

Speaking of library I have to go there now for work. I say goodbye to Annie, who I basically ignored during that talk with myself, and head off to sort out the books.

When I get there I see Peeta's already here and when he hears the door shut behind me, he looks up and that annoying smile appears on his face, "Twice in one day" he says.

"It is work Peeta" I exclaim, "thanks to someone" I murmur under my breath.

"Yes thanks to me we get to spend all this time together! It'll be just like old times"

"Yeah except without the lies, drugs, holidays and nice clothes" I say back sarcastically.

"Well if I remember correctly the nice clothes didn't say on for long anyway." He says as he walks over to me, "speaking of not wearing clothes you didn't mention there'd be no sex? What you're taking me up on my offer?"

"I'll tell you the truth," I start, "I can't lie, you were amazing in the bedroom but as for the relationship, well you were shit"

His face looses all traces of a smile as he stops walking so he's about three inches away from me and I know now that the playful conversation is over, "How can you say that?" He hurtfully asks me, "I was always there for you, I always made sure you had everything, I always spent time with you-"

"When you weren't of dealing" I snap.

"You knew what you were getting yourself in for Katniss, I told you, you could leave. I told you I didn't want you to but if that's what you needed to do I would except that. I loved you. Mindfully and physically. And tell me if I'm wrong but you always seemed to have a smile on your face"

I look down at the floor. He does have a point. He did do all those things and I did feel happy when I look back at it.

I don't know why I associate our relationship with hurt and sadness all the time, I think it's because it ended like that but as Peeta says, for the most part it was incredible. Sometimes I do miss that and I guess that also means that sometimes I miss him.