Create Your Own Destiny

The Concert

  I'm searching the crowd for familiar faces, one in particular, even though I really don't hope for that face to be here. I know it's stupid and foolish to think he would still keep his promise. He broke my heart, why would he think he could come and watch the beginning of my success, especially when its without him? I still don't see him though.

  "Forget it," I mutter to myself. "He's not coming."

  I look down at my watch and see that it's 8:30 PM already. I smile and feel the butterflies sprout up in my stomach. I push it down and turn around and nod at the boys. They are all in their positions with Mike at guitar, John at the drums, and Ben at the base. They smile back and start the mouthed "one, two, three" thing we always do before we announce the beginning of the show.

  "Hello Princeton! How is everyone doing tonight?" I yell into the microphone. The screens flicker around us and display my image, being spokesperson and all. I hear the chorus of the crowd and grow even more excited. I wait for the crowd to quiet down before continuing.

 "We have a great show prepared for you folks tonight. We just want to thank you all for coming out to see us. We've jumped through hurdles and given our everything just so we could share with you tonight. We already love you. Let me introduce the boys and myself. There on drums is Mr. Fabulous himself, John Green!," he waves at the crowd and smiles. I see a few girls and guys in the crowd swoon and other ones just look dazed. "And there in the left corner of the stage playing bass is my brother, Ben Daniels. Love you little B," He glares at me but turns his charming smile onto the people and plays a few chords. "And of course my best friend, playing lead guitar for you folks tonight is Mike Stone." He strikes a few chords for the crowd and then smiles at me. "I'm Taylor Daniels, and i'll be singing and through our journey together I will also be your spokesperson for this beautiful band. So, with out further edu, are you guys ready to party?!"

 The screams of the crowd are deafening. "Then let's party! Our first song this evening is an original called ''," I announce and then exaggerate a stamp on the stage. 

    The boys start the instrumental to our song and I sway my body to the rhythm and wait just a little before I start singing. I give a smoldering cat eye to the crowd and smile.

  "Don't speak," I start softly, "It's not my fault. All you're complaining ever did for me was make me less than enough so tell me."

 The momentum picks up and I get louder and sing with power and walk backwards a little on the stage. "If I ever have a moment to myself, is that fine? If I ever speak to my friends about anything but you am I going to get put back on a leash? If I ever decide to leave are you going to condemn me to your hell?!" 

 The music kept playing, we rocked out to another three songs, and then I catch a glimpse of some one who looks so much like Patrick and our eyes lock. I feel the breath leave my body as I realize that it is him. The next song we did, our second to last one, was a cover of He Is We, 'Our July In The Rain' and I'd meant it for him too back when we'd started planning this concert. How strange and depressing. I know that I have to do the song anyways. At least the concert is almost over so I won't have to deal with the agony of knowing he's here for too much longer. His eyes are glowing and he looked extremely happy. How he can be happy at a time like this, I don't know.   

  "This next song is a cover from He Is We. it's 'Our July in the Rain'."The boys began the instrumental while I was growing more and more emotional locked in Patrick's gaze.

  "Bring me back to holding hands in the rain I swear I would ease your pain... Lift you up so you could finally see the love you are to me..." The emotion in my voice isn't faked either. 

  "Why'd I have to go and do you like that,thought I was finally moving on but you came and brought me right back to the night you took my kiss and I took yours too then i lost you. Would you bring me back to holding hands in the rain, I swear I would ease your pain lift you up so you could finally see, the love you are to me. I've had time and I've had change been broken but still I can't explain our July in the rain."  I stopped for the brief instrumental and took power from the music, as cheesy as it sounds. Cue the eye roll. My eyes blaze as I look down at him, he'd managed to make his way about seventh or eighth row from the stage, and he looked confused, saddened almost. I scoffed at myself. Yeah, right. Like he'd ever give a damn about it. That's okay, I'll sing it just for him.

  "Every part of me is broken now, I tried to scream but nothing came out, drop my pride I reveal my insides and it all comes pouring out! Would you bring me back to holding hands in the rain i swear I would ease your pain, lift you up so you could finally see the love you are to me, I've had time and i've had change been broken but still I can't explain... Our July in the rain."

  I see from his expression that he knows i'm singing to him.  I suppress a small smile. "This is a melody, we'll never speak all the things I regret if I could say anything, my apologies for the way I ended things, see I love you but it scared me... you scared me... you scared me... would you please bring me back to holding hands in the rain I swear I would ease your pain lift you up so you could finally see the love you are to me. I've had time and i've had change, been broken but still I can't explain our July-oh whah oh would you bring me back to holding hands in the rain I swear I would ease your pain lift you up so you could finally see the love you are to me I've had time and I've had change been broken but still I can't explain our July in the rain hey,"

  I finish singing. He holds up a poster, but I can't read it. I guess he assumed I wore my contacts, but of course I didn't. I'm going,, to wear my contacts on stage as little as possible. I would love to see my fans, but it's too scary seeing all of the expectant faces hoping for a  down right perfect and amazing show.I'd rather perform without feeling too too much pressure.

  After another song the concert is over, and I'd lost track of him and fallen into the music, I went back stage to start gathering up our tech for lighting and everything. I feel someone tap my shoulder and spin around. I see a father with a pretty girl that's about twelve, maybe thirteen. She holds up a sharpie and her phone. "Will you sign my case please ma'am?"

  "Of course! Do you want me to get the rest of the band to sign too?" 

 The pretty little girl just blushes and nods her head. 

  "Hey, you know, I remember when I was your age and going to meet my very first band too. It was absolutely amazing. But I was really shy and was afraid that they wouldn't like me. What I know now is that they are like everyone else, just human. They aren't any different then you and me, in fact we aren't any different. We are both people, going through the motions. Never forget that you are equal to everyone else. Wait back here for a little bit, the rest of the band will be back here to load their stuff and they'll be able to sign then. It was nice meeting you beautiful." I smile at her dad who looks incredibly relieved and pleased. He smiles back at me.

 "Thank you."

 "Anytime sweetie, i'm glad I can do something for someone."

 She smiles, and I go load the tech into the van, thinking about my unwelcome guest that appeared during the concert, and wondering if he knows how much it still hurts.