101 Reasons (A HUNDRED AND ONE REASONS NOW AVAILABLE IN BOOKSTORES)

Reason Number 4

I hope you don't mind,

I hope you don't mind,

That I put down in words,

How wonderful life is,

When you're in the world.

-Sir Elton John

Lee's been bugging me about not telling him the truth, normally I would just gush and give in thinking that he is concerned enough to know the truth. But as I say nothing in my life now is normal, I answer him with one-liners but still he keeps on bugging me. So I try to ignore him any way possible.

"What the hell is your problem? I was just asking." Lee roared, his voice echoed the now silent cafeteria, everybody is looking at us and Aya didn't know exactly what to do. She keeps on fidgeting.

"What gives you the right to know everything about my life? I told you I'm fine!" I shouted back.

"I hate being lied at! Especially in front of my face!" His voice louder than before. Just then my brother arrived and went straight to our table, there's a commotion in the cafeteria that even the lunch lady seems to be stuck from where she stood.

"Don't you ever shout at my sister again!" He said pointing his finger at Lee. James never really liked Lee. He told me he's just a guy, befriending girls and taking advantage of them, I know that he is not; he still has his guy group of friends other than us.

"This is between me and her!" He said standing up, students are beginning to crowd and are starting to watch the chaos that is about to start in any minute. My brother moved and is about to punch Lee hard on the face when Stan stopped him.

"Hey, chill okay? First of all, you shouldn't shout at a girl! Second why are you grilling her with so many questions, are you his boyfriend?"

Aya stood up at that very moment; I think it was in defense for herself, since she is Lee's future girlfriend. "Ann already told us that she's fine, Lee."

"She's not! I can tell! And I can't fucking understand why she can't tell us!" I forced back the tear that might fall any minute now. How can I tell him? In what way can I simply tell them?

"I went to the doctor last night and he told me I have Leukemia, he gave me a span of 3 years but I think that I'm dying." Will that ease him? Will that make him feel better?

"I told you I'm fine." James just looked at me and shockingly Stan took my hand.

"You are fucking not!" Lee said as he turned away and slammed his food tray in the trash can. He left the door swinging madly behind his back and students begin to disperse when they realize there's nothing to see anymore. I sat down and wasn't able to control the tears that are now uncontrollably flowing on my face. Stan immediately dropped my hand when he realized how awkward we both feel when we saw our fingers linked together.

He cleared his throat and sat down where Lee sat, "What an ass." Aya glared at him and then with worried eyes looked at me. "I'll go after him, maybe he's just having a go with his Dad. You know how his family is. I know he didn't mean to do that."

I smiled. I didn't want Aya to chase him. I stood up and is about to tell Aya that I should be the one following him, but then James stopped me. "Let her." And with that, Aya ran. After the break, Aya returned alone and when I asked him about Lee, she just gave me a weak smile.

"He didn't mean to burst out on you, he's sorry but he's still ashamed to face you. You know how Lee's family has been pressuring him, just give him time okay?"

I returned the weak smile and Aya sat down quietly and just jotted down notes as the professor droned on about molecular weights and stuff. The final bell rang and Aya said that she will go visit Lee. I let her. I walked my way home and then went straight to my room, I didn't know if Lee is having problems or he just feels that something is indeed wrong. I wanted to tell him the truth, I wanted him to be with me through all this, I wanted him to be my strength but I don't want him to do all this just because he pities me. When I reached our front porch I hesitated to open the door, something tells me that I should go and talk to Lee but what if I see him and Aya sharing feelings that is more than what friends should feel.

I gave up on my thoughts and I went straight up in my room, I looked at my phone to see if ever Lee has called or even sent a text message but he didn't. When I placed my phone back to my side drawer I noticed a CD with a 101 Reasons title written over it. I took it and then placed it on the player and what I saw shock me to no end.

It was a collection of my photos, from start to finish with Elton John's song as the background. In between photos are words that when put together read, "I know things are hurting you but you should at least give it a try. And if ever you'll need 101 Reasons to prove your worth to stay, you just need to mention one.

And I'll give you one of the hundred reasons just to prove your worth... Reason Number One: How wonderful life is while you're in the world."

After I replayed the video for about ten times the thought of it just hit me, someone wants me to live, and I am not alone. I went straight to James' room to let everything out, to confess every secret that I have but when I opened it, it is not James who is sitting in his bed.

Rather,

It's Stan.