101 Reasons (A HUNDRED AND ONE REASONS NOW AVAILABLE IN BOOKSTORES)

Reason Number 8

"What hurts more than losing you

is knowing you're not even fighting

to keep me."

-Megan McCafferty

It's been a week since that mini incident in the hospital, it was an intense moment for James, Lee, Aya and I. It was not supposed to be that way, we were just there, staring at each other waiting for someone to ask what happened. Aya seemed to have gotten that my situation is not the thing that can be treated overnight. Lee just stupidly stood there not knowing if he heard correctly what I told him at the playground, while James just sat by my side ready to support whatever it is that can happen. And all of a sudden, as if God answered my prayer, a doctor came. He didn't wait for my parents to come; it all came suddenly.

"Ann needs to start chemotherapy." That pretty much said it all. Aya just cried silently at one corner never wanting to see me. Typical reaction.What shocked me was Lee's reaction, he immediately hugged me and he started to cry. I've never seen him cry, I thought nothing can make him cry.

"We're here Ann. I'm here." And for one second there, I believed in him.

I am now ready to go to school. A week of resting and going crazy in my own bedroom is enough and I know I'm ready to go back. My Mom pleaded that I wait for another week, but I can't just sit around waiting for my hair to fall out until I go back to school bald. No, I'll go to school as long as I look perfectly fine. Nobody will suspect a thing. James waited for me at our front door porch, his face glowed with the rising sun, he looks happy for a while, and it made me feel that maybe there's hope for us.

There is hope for me.

"James." I said as we walk to the junction where the school bus usually stops.

"Hmm?" Is his only reply, I looked at him and he just kept on walking his hands on his pocket his gaze in his feet.

"Did you tell Stan?" His name sends shivers in my spine. I haven't heard from him since that day that he told me he will let me go. I didn't understand what he said, but I feel empty since that day.

"I didn't." James answered, and I didn't ask anymore.

"But he knows." He sighed and smiled into nothingness. "I never told him anything, but he knows what's happening. It's like that with us; we never say anything but we understand. I guess that's also how it is with you. He understands you in a way that you can't, he knows you in a way that I don't."

I was about to ask him what he meant but the school bus arrived and we never uttered a single word to each other for the whole ride to school. We reached school and I was quite disappointed that Stan didn't ride the school bus that day, he usually does. I wonder why he keeps on ignoring me. I reached our room and found Aya sitting on my desk.

"I hate you. Do you know that?" She said.

"Yeah."

"You have the habit of stealing away everything from me without even knowing."

"That's me." I said, hoping she'll just end her self-inflicted drama.

"So you need to fight that disease so that what you stole from me won't go down the drain." She said and tears started streaming down her eyes.

"Hey! You're not actually bringing that up here!" I said annoyed.

"I'm sorry. Just promise me!" I just nodded; honestly Aya is starting to annoy the hell out of me.

"I told you to promise me, you stubborn little mule!"

"I promise!"

"Pinky promise."

"Aya! What are we? Pre-schoolers?"

"Just do it."

And I did, deep in my heart I was happy I did, pinky promises are always legit. After school I went back to our house, I was about to open the door when I noticed something strange, I don't know what it is, it feels odd. When I entered, a song started playing out of nowhere. It's I've Been Waiting ForYou. My heart started beating loudly in my chest. Could it be that he hasn't given up on me? Then all of a sudden someone started to come down from the stairs, I can't quite tell who he is because the lights are rather dim. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he handed me a single rose.

"I've been waiting for you", said Lee smiling at me like it is the first time he saw me. A single rose, only one person came to my mind.

Funny as it is, he isn't the guy that I've been waiting for anymore.