Symbols (Phan)

Chapter 4

*Dan’s p.o.v*

I walked through the school corridors- it felt a little better- I mean me and Phil still weren’t friends (where we?) but we had sorted our differences out, well at least I hope we did. I reached my first class- double English, and as the head promised there was Phil sitting next to the seat I usually take. 

I lumbered over shoving my bag under the desk “Hey”

"Don’t talk to me" He snarled looking away in disgust.

"Why what have I done wrong?" I panicked, I couldn’t think of anything I did or said.

"Just don’t talk to me unless we’re doing our project OK?" He snapped looking back down at his book and shuffling his chair further away from me.

"Um OK- you still coming to mine tonight?" I asked, a little more quiet and distant then last time.

"Yes and if you talk to me one more time I will throttle you- got it" he grunted.

I nodded- what had gotten into him? The two hours went by more slow than usual, I just wanted to leave and get away from Phil. We had gone from semi-friends to enemies over night. Eventually- after a two hour long lecture about Of Mice And Men we were let out, I started walking to the canteen where Chris and PJ sat.

"So how’d it go?" PJ asked biting his lip.

"It was OK- I mean we have a lot in common, and we played Mario Kart, we even had a laugh" I started "But then this morning he seemed extra snappy and shuffled his chair away from me, even refusing to look me in the eye" I ended sadly.

"Well Alex and Charlie are looking extra angry at you today" Chris nodded his head in the direction of their table. He was right, their faces were scrunched in anger, their eyes narrowed and menacing. I turned back around gulping slightly.

"But I don’t actually know what I did" I sighed twirling my finger around the table.

"Looks like you’re gonna find out" PJ said, his eyes alert.

"Oh hey little boy" Alex spoke into my ear making me flinch away. "So why were you and Phil together last night huh?"

"We were doing our project" I replied simply.

"Well that’s not what’s going round school" Charlie smirked sitting down next to me and looking at me evilly.

"So what is?" I asked completely confused.

"We hear that you tried it on with Phil- well that’s what everyone’s saying" Alex spat it out like it was the most foulest thing ever.

"Well that’s not true- all we did was work on our science project and play Mario Kart?"

"Good- you better not turn our friend gay or we’ll kill you" Charlie said standing up and and ruffling my hair like I was a dog, which I pulled straight away from.

Don’t you just love rumours? fucking school.

"Shit man" Chris whispered once they had gone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The day drifted on- whispers and glances all throughout the corridor- eurgh school right?

In the last lesson Phil sent me a note under the table saying we should meet up around the corner from school so we ‘wouldn’t be seen’- oh thanks. I did so anyway walking that extra part before meeting up with him. Today walk was as awkward as yesterdays- maybe even more so.

We got to my house and went up to my room, I sat on the floor and opened my pack. Phil sat in-front of me, his head hung low.

"I’m sorry for how I acted today" He whispered, genuinely sounding guilty.

"Yeah whatever" I muttered taking out my books and lying them around the floor.

he stayed quiet for a long moment “I just didn’t want rumours spreading you know? I mean I don’t want people to think I’m gay”

I looked up at him, my face in disgust. “So what’s so wrong with being gay then?” I snapped- the annoyance in my voice clear.

"I just find it hard to accept it" He mumbled twizzling his thumbs.

"OH SO YOU DON’T ACCEPT IT- SO YOU DON’T ACCEPT ME? SO YOU GO AND ACT LIKE A DICK ABOUT IT HUH?" I screamed standing up, my fists clenched in a sign of anger. What was so wrong with me being gay- why was it so hard to accept?

He shook his head- his eyes sad and dull- not how they usually are at all. His voice was cracked and thick with the sound of on coming tears.

"I just don’t accept myself"