T H I R T Y O N E;
matthew took a deep breath before tapping on estelle's contact number and pressing 'call'. he held his breath as he waited for her to answer, which she did on the second ring.
"matt oh my god it's you." she let out, her voice breathless.
"please tell me i made a mistake," he blurted immediately. "that there's more to the story, that you didn't cheat on me with your ex boyfriend, because i saw the articles-"
"that's not how it happened.." estelle trailed off slowly, sadness in her voice. "i promise you, he kissed me."
"and what, you just stood there like a statue?"
"that's not what happened matt." estelle sighed.
"then please explain how pictures of you cheating on me happened to be on the front of every newspaper!" matt exclaimed, running a hand thorugh his hair in frustration. "because i just dont get it stelle..."
"jake kissed me, he must have got the wrong impression or something." estelle said her voice giving up. tears were filling both of the couple's eyes. "and like the idiot i am, i kissed him back..." she cried, finally admitting what matt had dreaded most.
"it just felt like an immediate instinct matt, and im so fucking sorry." estelle spluttered out. she bit her lip to stop herself from sobbing while she waited for him to respond.
he didn't.
"matt? please just say something." she cried, only to hear a cold silence in response. "i know i don't deserve your forgiveness but i love you."
"and i know you love me too."
"i do." he said shakily. she let out a small sigh of relief, that there might still be hope. "but i can't do this anymore. it shouldn't be this hard."
"matt, please dont do this." estelle sobbed over the phone even though she knew it was no good. matt felt his heart pang at the sound of her crying. it hurt him that he'd made her cry.
"im sorry." he simply said.
"y'know, i thought that you and i would be forever." She said quietly.
"im sorry." he said again, "i never wanted to hurt you."
"i never meant too either." she replied, chuckling humorlessly. "i guess we both broke that promise."
estelle squeezed her eyes shut as soon as she heard the phone call come to an end, trying to stop the seemingly endless streams of tears that wouldn't stop pouring from her eyes. she immediately regretted what she'd said. she knew it wasn't matt's fault and she knew that she deserved it. she knew that matt deserved so much better than her.
she covered her mouth with her hand to mute the sobs coming from her body but tears slipped through her closed eyes and she couldn't stop the one thing running through her head;
this was all her fault.
