Passion(EDITING)

Chapter Nineteen

It's been two months since the party, I've become really good friends with Kirsten, JJ, and Kalvin, I've even joined the drama club. We hang out every Friday and the club is everyday after school but it's never mandatory until the play starts. We are doing Aladdin this year, but I highly doubt that I could ever get Jasmine considering the fact that I'm a freshman. I'm perfectly fine with that though, because I've been having a blast. I look forward to the weekends and after school so much that I start to twitch at last period everyday. But life is a living hell in ninth grade, Alex has moved on to hanging out with Timmy and the rest of the addicts. His hair is now usually covered with a beanie, and he no longer carries a backpack. Which I think is stupid. It makes me sad though, knowing that nothing could ever really bring us back to how things used to be. There are even girls flocking around him for attention, which is no longer surprising considering his new "bad boy" reputation. He's actually grown a lot too, he's now the same height as me, maybe even s bit taller, and has lost a lot of baby fat. But his face looks lost, slight dark circles around his eyes, barely noticeable if you didn't know him, or Care for that matter. But I care, I care a lot. I miss him a lot. And God knows that I need him a lot. JJ told me that his mom is on a huge business trip for 3 weeks, and I don't know how I can handle the thought of him spending this time getting high. Ive typed out so many text to send him, deleted them all, even attempted calling him but I always bail before I hit the call button.
I guess Chase has moved on too, he's dating this snobbish, big assed, plump lipped, blonde haired, big dark blue eyed, girl. Do I sound jealous? Probably because I am...yet Chase doesn't look into her as much as she looks into him. He looks bored most of the time. I find him looking at me a lot but, I try not to look back. Which is so very hard when I feel the need to look into his perfect blue eyes and just smile. I can't believe we dated for a day. And in that one day it had felt like we had dated for years, but with that slap I gave him, the one he very much so deserved, we were through. I can't say  I feel too bad, I just miss the sweet guy, but now I know it was all talk, he didn't like Alex, so I don't like him.
Lunch has changed too. I sit with this girl named Peyton at lunch, she has tanned, smooth, skin, big round glasses, and a need for a new wardrobe, which is saying a lot if it's coming from me. I also sit with two others, twins. Both with almond eyes, and thin jet black hair, Jasmine and Jake are definitely the smartest people I've ever met. They're all pretty nice but I miss Alex so much.
He looks awful. He's fallen asleep in resource twice, and not to mention math or English. Slouching all the time, he's even gotten sent to the dean more than once for doing stupid stuff, I hope it's just rumours, but I doubt it. Alex Rowe is gone, never to return. And I really don't know how much longer I can take of this sort of world until I snap.

(One week later)
I'm walking to drama club when I hear something fall. It sounds like a person. I run towards the sound, away from the auditorium and towards the freshman lockers. Alex.
He's writhing in pain on the floor. Panic surges through me like a lightning bolt. I rush to him and slide next to him on the floor. Turning him so that his face is looking up at me. His eyes show pain and fear and nothing else. It breaks my heart.
"Oh my god, Alex!"
I can tell he's having a panic attack, I used to get them throughout middle school, it comes from stress, depression, anxiety, or withdrawals from drugs. You can't disconnect yourself from drugs entirely or you get them. He's shaking uncontrollably, tears are streaming down his face, his eyes are sunken in and his face is pale. He grits his teeth, it's obvious he's trying to tell me something but I don't know what.
"I'm sorry Rose."
His eyes snap shut tight, and the shaking stopped, his breath was now terrifyingly dry and slow. I check his pulse and his heartbeat is going super fast, faster than healthy I know for sure, his heartbeat suddenly slows and i know that's bad. Really bad. Stay calm, stay calm. His body convulses and I scream, I don't know what to do. I no longer think he's having a panic attack, it's a stroke. He's having a fucking stroke!
"Help!" I scream it at the top of my lungs, I get my phone out of my pocket and dial 911. Alex needs help, and he needs it right now. I'm the cause of this, I'm the cause of this, if he dies it's my fault. It's all like a dream, the operator tells me an ambulance is on the way, Mr. V, the drama teacher runs out and helps me carry Alex, so does Kirsten and JJ, the other drama club people just stand like the stupid sissies they are.

Next thing you know, I'm in a waiting room at a hosipital. Just like with mom. I hate my life. I hate my fucking life.

Dad comes to pick me up, I was able to finish all my homework at the hospital. I see Aiden and the sight of him on a hellish day like this makes me smile, I bend down to give him a hug, but instead he offers to do the handshake we made up when he was 6. I go to Dad to give him a hug, but it looks like he's been crying, and although I know he is sympathetic about Alex he wouldn't cry about it. He brings me into a tight hug, and his shaking shoulders show me that he's crying, well shit. What is the universe going to throw at me now.