THERE IS ALWAYS ONE

PART TWO 'THE BULLY'.

The most stressful part of being bullied is the thought process of identifying whether your treatment amounts to bullying or not. If you keep replaying the scenarios over and over in your mind, then the answer to this, is usually yes.

The longer you stew on these thoughts the more stress will be put on you and your family.Try to relax and turn off when you get home. If you can't then it's time to follow this guide.
Here are some definitions of the behaviour of two types of bullies. These actions will be part of their habitual treatment of you. 

The simple, obvious and direct bully.

The old fashioned, or school ground bully. Will show some or all of the following traits.
- Aggression.
- Bigotry, (will pick on any differences).
- Lack of respect.
- Blatant.
- Over the top.
- Nasty.
They will also use humour and pass off their bullying as 'banter'. They won't fool anyone for long. They are easy to identify and are becoming rarer in the workplace.

The clever, indirect and subtle bully.

More difficult to identify initially.

- Nit Picky (Will call themselves a perfectionist. Or obsessive.)
- Confrontational.
- Poor listener.
- Poor coach. (does not understand the difference between training and coaching.)
- Poor to delegate.
- Controlling.
- Not accountable.
- Quick to blame.
- Has favourites.
- Creates non-inclusive teams.
- Quick to criticise
- Makes up own rules, outside of company policy.
Some of these traits are due to poor understanding of positive management behaviours. Because they think they can act this way as their position in the company allows them to. They find it hard to change as they do not admit to any faults.I have heard this referred to as 'maladjusted perfectionism.'Not only can they be quick to criticise but they can unfairly criticise. There aim is to find fault, to prove that you are not performing to standard even if there is no fault to find.They can discuss you behind your back within their circle of favourites.They find it very difficult to say the words 'I don't know' or 'I don't understand.' In their eyes, this would show weakness. Although they can act in a superior way they have an underlying inferiority complex.
Bullies feel threatened by anyone with better knowledge, experience or temperament than themselves. They are in fear of losing their position or status. They will call themselves winners because they cannot deal with losing or coming second best to anyone. This makes them very determined and will resort to any tactics to get where they want.
They often progress within the company due to appearing driven and determined. This looks like they are being rewarded for bullying and intimidating by other colleagues.This leads others to think that this is the correct behaviour required to progress.Overall within a business unit, bullying by one colleague can lead to a high turnover of colleagues, poor teamwork, poor morale and poor results.It should, therefore, be in the best interests of 'The Company' to not allow bullying to take place.