Your Love's a F*cking Drag (But I Need it So Bad)

Chapter Three

Dan didn't like her.

He didn't know why, honestly, because he'd only uttered a few words to her before bursting out the door in a hurry to meet his lovely Cheryl. But there was something about Maria that made Dan's lips press together and his skin crawl with disgust.

Maybe it was the height, he ventured, and how she was so small compared to Phil that he towered an entire foot over her, having to bend down to kiss her or even to embrace her. But that didn't explain why Dan was so disgusted, so he decided it was because her eyes were a dull brown, framed in eyelashes that were too long that made her eyes look too big for her porcelain face. Or maybe it was her curly hair, springing in ringlets that were noticeably hard to tame.

That's gotta be it. Dan despised his curly hair so the fact that she seemed to embrace it must just be rubbing off on him the wrong way.

Either way, he felt a smirk crawl upon his lips as he left the dorm, pulling out a cigarette to stuff it in his mouth and light it with his favourite lighter (it had a dog on it, how could he not love it?). He snickered through the smoke at the fact that he had Phil's dick in his mouth just last night, and Maria had no idea.

Not like it meant anything, of course. Dan was head over heels in love with Cheryl and Phil was just his roommate. Besides, they were both straight so it's not like they were cheating or anything. Just a little bit of helping out.

Which brings Dan back to this morning, chuckling a bit more when he remembered how Phil's lips had wrapped around his own cock, returning the favour that he hadn't had a chance to last night. By now, their fiasco had been going on for about a week and Dan was more sexually satisfied than he'd ever been.

Cheryl would give him as much sex as he wanted while Phil gave him a quick blowjob whenever he popped a woody unexpectedly. Thus causing a completely relaxed Dan Howell.

Of course, he and Phil had set some ground rules: no kissing (because that's gay), no sticking their dicks in either person's ass (also gay), and no uttering a word about this to anyone. The relationship was strictly just reserved to quick handjobs, blowjobs, grinding, etc.

Which would be fine except that Dan had suddenly been thinking a lot more about how it would feel if Phil slammed him against the wall and thoroughly fucked him. But that was off limits and Dan always scowled whenever he had those thoughts because he's not, and never will be, gay.

So he shook his head, inhaled the smoke from his cigarette before putting it out on the pavement, and knocked on Cheryl's door. Cheryl was, in lack of better terms, the complete opposite of Maria. She had beautifully straightened golden hair and bright blue eyes that turned a million different shades in the sunlight. She was tall, but still shorter than Dan, making it so he just had to lean down a few inches to kiss her, and she had the prettiest smile Dan has ever seen.

Her face lit up when she saw him, her red matte lips pulling apart to reveal perfectly white teeth. "Dan!" She greeted, pulling him into a kiss. She always tasted like lipstick but Dan didn't mind because she was so beautiful when she wore it. "Took you long enough to get here," she teased when they pulled back.

Dan rolled his eyes despite the fact that he was smiling. "Phil's girlfriend came over and he wanted me to meet her," he replied.

"Is she prettier than me?" The question was followed by a series of fluttering eyelashes before they both burst into giggles.

"No one could be as beautiful as you," Dan answered, kissing the tip of her nose. The statement felt weird on his tongue even though he'd uttered them a million times. He resisted the urge to shake his head to dispel the feeling, following his girlfriend into her room where she pushed him down on her mattress.

"Well I have just the thing to prove it," she mewled and this was the one thing about Cheryl that made Dan's stomach twist like he was about to be sick.

Yes, he loved her. He loved sex with her and he loved being physical with her. But Cheryl always brought up sex whenever they were together. No matter how many times Dan felt like having just a cuddle with her, she would always try to get him to fuck her and he always felt as if she was using him in that way. Even after talking to her about it, it was always the same: sex as soon as they walk through the door and maybe a cuddle afterwards if Dan got lucky and Cheryl didn't have 'homework to do'.

But other than that, she was literally Dan's dream girl and he was reminded that as he trailed his fingers over the soft skin of her stomach to remove her shirt. She smirked at him and he swore this was bliss.

Afterwards, Dan knew what was coming before she even opened her mouth, leading him to begin zipping up his jeans. "You should probably head out, I've got homework tonight."

Dan sighed but nodded, kissing her cheek before slipping his shirt over his head. "Text me later," he mumbled, trying to memorize the shape of her eyes and the pink of her cheeks. He smiled at the bright hickey on her neck, a reminder that she was his and everybody knew it.

He walked into his dorm room about twenty minutes later, noting how Phil and Maria were cuddling on the couch, watching some show on the television. They both glanced over him when he walked in, and Dan couldn't help but notice how Phil's hair was mussed and there was a bright red mark on his neck that wasn't there before.

"You're home early," Phil commented. Subconsciously, he shuffled a bit further away from Maria so they weren't pressed up against each other as much and that made Dan feel a bit snug. "Do you just use your girlfriend for sex or what?"

The comment hurt Dan, his stomach clenching despite the joking tone behind the words. He huffed, eyes narrowing into slits. Little would Phil ever know how much of an insecurity this was because Dan wanted more than just sex with Cheryl, but she never wanted much of Dan. On the outside, Dan was all sharp edges and bitter cigarette fumes, but on the inside, he could feel his lungs collapsing whenever Cheryl sent him home right after sleeping with him. "At least I'm able to satisfy her in bed," Dan sneered. He took off his leather jacket, tossing it on the floor by Phil before climbing the side of his bed (for some reason, he thought it'd be a good idea to loft it) to settle down in it.

Maria blushed and ducked her head but Dan didn't miss the dirty look she cast over at him. "Phil satisfies me just fine," she retorted. "I'm glad I don't have a boyfriend who is only interested in having sex with me and who actually loves me."

If only she knew.

Dan's eyes slid over Phil's face, a slight smirk on his face that only grew when Phil met his gaze, entire face going red. He knew what he was thinking about: how Phil's mouth was on his dick this morning, moving Dan to orgasm in just minutes. Phil knew that Dan knew how to sexually satisfy someone, but they just couldn't mention that to her. "Guess I'll just have to find out how good he is myself," Dan sighed in a mocking tone.

The comment made a pillow fling into the side of his head, one that was surely thrown by a blushing and furious blue-eyed roommate. Dan was definitely going to give a blowjob sometime in the next few days.

Dan rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll leave you alone. Enjoy your movie and wake me up before dinner." He nestled under his duvet, the warmth of it seeping into his skin until he was drifting away into the world where his worries didn't matter and he could be free. Phil replied with something sarcastic, but Dan barely noticed. Instead, he cuddled under the duvet and relished in the warmth, slowly drifting off into a world where his worries didn't matter and he could disappear for a while.

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A/N: Thank you so much for reading and let us know what you think!