diphylleia grayi • jimin

Third

❝He was a herbicide in disguise, he was only there to destroy the love.❝

21/10/2016

A week had passed and it seemed like Kihyun had disappeared into thin air, without any messages or hints left behind. In the book club meeting it was only me worrying about him, it seemed, no one seemed to even perceive his absence.

I didn't know what I should feel towards this situation, given that Kihyun and my relation was something that I couldn't comprehended either. I was apprehensive at times, thinking that something serious had happened to him; but I told myself to think positively.

He'd moved on, maybe. Just like Jimin and me tried to move on.

As I sat on my usual spot-now without Kihyun- I sat in complete silence, my eyes fixated on the book that I grabbed without any intention to read even one word.

Maybe I should come more often now that Jimin's and my relationship was over officially.

"Excuse me?" A deep voice behind my voice brought me out of my thoughts, causing me to turn around. I was faced with a young and talk boy, brown hair and a small, unsure smile on his lips.
"I'm new here, is it okay if I take this seat?"

I nodded, looking just as unsure as he did, averting my gaze back to the book that I had laid out in front of me. As he took his seat opposite of me I kept my eyes fixated on it before his hand came into my vision.

"I'm Taehyung." He widened his smile as he extended his hand some more. "It's nice to meet you."

I tried to crack a smile as a sigh came across my lips, shaking his hand simultaneously. "I'm Seoya, hey."

I felt instead ease as I looked into his eyes, that squinted slightly barely a second later. "Please treat me well." I whispered, our eye contact not breaking in any of the following moments; even when he nodded.

***

"Why did you join?" He asked, as we crossed the street beside each other. "The group, I mean?"

Nervousness was clearly audible in his voice; I could figure that he tried to restrain himself from voicing this question that must have lingered in his head from the very first moment that we met.

I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes, clasping my hands in my front. "There is something inside of me, working against everyone else. That's why I read."

Of course this wasn't the perfect answer, yet he seemed to understand everything even with this subtlety. He and Kihyun were some of the only ones to really do, maybe because they have been having the exact same problem. Jimin was maybe a third person I could count among those, who did understand. However he also counted among those who my uncontrollable mind was working against.

It was a windy day; somehow it took away all my worries and even the pain of Jimin that almost felt like being suffocated. Despite knowing the possibility to change something, we couldn't; that was what hurt the most.

Additionally, it was a rainy day; our loves white petal became moist with not only rain but regret, yet it didn't disappearing from our view. Even though we have ended, we could still see it clearly. And slowly, it was also drenched with my tears and, maybe, even Jimin's.

"Are you getting an attack?" He nervously panicked beside me as he had notice the tears spilling from my eyes. "Let's sit down, let's sit down before something-"

I covered his mouth with my hand as another sob fluttered from my lips, my eyelids heavy from the tears amassed on my lashes. "I don't get them when with you guys, because we're the same. I get them with people like Jimin."

Slowly, I pulled my hand away from his mouth that had fallen agape by this point.

"Jimin?" He emphasized the same that still held a special place in my heart; though a minimal in my mind where it was supposed to vanish from.

Once again, a big amount of tears flooded my eyes as I mouthed his name all over again, pictures of his warm eyes and heart fluttering smile passing in front of my eyes.

Jimin's P.O.V

"I can't believe it." I murmured, my eyes observing my shaking hands in my lap. "I can't believe she didn't tell me the truth."

Jungkook patted my shoulder carefully. "She had a good reason too."

The book club; why didn't she tell me the real meaning behind it? Why didn't she tell me straight away that she had a special connection to all the people that gathered there twice a week?

"She could have told at least me, I thought she trusted me!" I growled in outrage, shaking my head and peering his hand from my body. "I knew about it, so why didn't she tell me about the group?"

Whatever Jungkook said to me that moment, it wouldn't have changed the way I felt.

"Maybe she didn't want to hurt you." He murmured as he turned his body away from mine, looking up to the sky that was clouded with clouds; similar to my mind with all these questions.

Maybe, Jungkook. Maybe she didn't want to hurt me- but I don't think my heart could ache more after she tore out our favorite flower that I had just tried to repair again.
I had tried to repair and relive it so many times only to have her disorder tear it out by its stem recklessly, unconscious of what it would mean for the both of us.

The flower, it was almost like our love.
But our love, simultaneously, held a toxin, that destroyed itself and us like a disorder.
It deceived me so many times, masked perfectly, making everything between us seem alright. Even her disorder seemed like a insignificant flaw- but ultimately it was insidiously trying to make her hate me.

We weren't alright, I now knew.

"What should I do, Jungkook?"

Helluuuuu ^^
Lately I have been in love with writing this story,
I am really exciting to publish more of the chapter I already wrote..
Even the epilogue is written. Happy reading.