"Hi Carrie, how are you?" Dr. Simmons said, entering the room with a smile.
"I'm good." Carrie smiled in reply.
"How are the headaches?"
"Better, the medicine's really helping." Carrie answered.
She and Mike were sitting on a couch, Dr. Simmons sitting down on the couch along the wall beside them. They were in a small meeting/prayer room at the hospital.
"Good." She grinned. She was trying to put off telling Carrie the results for as long as possible. "I'm glad."
"So," she sighed, tapping her pen against her folder. "I looked at your head CT results yesterday."
Carrie and Mike both realized by the tone in her voice that what she was about to say was much worse than what they were thinking. There was something wrong.
Carrie squeezed Mike's hand and held her breath.
Dr. Simmons took a deep breath and got the words out before she could take them back.
"Carrie, you have a brain tumor."
You have a brain tumor.
The words ran through her head over and over again, the weight of the words pressing on her chest. She couldn't breathe.
The rest of the appointment was a blur. Carrie felt her body go numb. She stopped functioning. She couldn't comprehend the words she'd just heard.
"A w-what?" She heard her husband stutter beside her. She couldn't bare to look at him. She couldn't move.
"You have a rapidly growing grade four Glioblastoma tumor in your brain." Dr. Simmons spoke.
The words spun around Carrie's head, making her vision blurry. None of it made sense. None of it seemed real. How was this happening?
She heard Mike's breathing hitch at the words she'd just spoken. "What do we do?"
"Well," Dr Simmons started, taking a deep breath. "Technically, due to the size and location of the tumor, it's inoperable."
"But," she added, clicking her pin open and closed. "There's a surgeon in California, Dr. Montgomery, she's the best neurosurgeon in the country. And she thinks she can remove it."
Carrie sat numb in her seat, only half hearing what the brunette was saying.
"She's done it before with a tumor similar to yours. It's an extremely risky surgery, she's only been successful once in the five times she's done it-the other four didn't make it." Dr. Simmons sighed.
"What happens if she doesn't do it?" Mike asked shakily. It took everything in him to keep from breaking down right there.
"We can try chemo and radiation, but the tumor is growing and the chemo isn't going to be able to get rid of it all. It could prolong her life a little more, but I wouldn't recommend it. It's only going to be hard on her body and make her more sick. Her quality of life won't be very good."
"And what if she does nothing?"
"Two months, maybe three." Dr. Simmons answered, her face showing the same sadness they could hear in her voice.
"I want the surgery." Carrie said flatly, still frozen in her seat. She didn't move, she didn't even flinch when she spoke. It came out dry and emotionless.
"Carrie." Mike put his hand on her thigh, not sure what he was going to say next or why he'd even said her name.
"I'm not going to spend the last two months of my life slowly dying in a hospital bed. I'm going to die whether I do this surgery or not. I might as well do it and try." She spoke again, finally turning her head to look at her husband.
"If the surgery is successful, you shouldn't have any problems and live the rest of your life happy and healthy." Dr. Simmons added. "If you want to do the surgery, we need to do it as soon as possible, before it gets any larger."
"I want it." She stated.
Dr. Simmons looked at Mike with eyes full of pity. He nodded his head once to tell her he agreed.
"Alright." She let out a sigh. "I'll call her and let her know. She'll fly in, probably meet with you tomorrow or Monday, and do the surgery next week. I'm so sorry about this, I truly am."
"Thank you." Mike mumbled.
"You can stay in here for as long as you'd like if you wish, I'll see you within the next couple days." Dr. Simmons offered the couple a small smile, but even she knew it wasn't real. She exited the room, leaving Carrie and Mike alone in complete silence. The door swung shut, the slamming sound causing them both to flinch.
Neither of them made a sound. They didn't know what to say. What was there to say? What do you say when you just found out you're basically walking into your death?
Carrie swallowed the lump in her throat, fighting the tears from falling.
"Carrie."
Mike's voice cracked. He pulled her into his arms and they both quit fighting the tears and let them pour out. Mike squeezed her tiny body, knowing he probably wouldn't be able to do it much longer.
Tears pooled out of his eyes and rolled off his cheeks, falling onto Carrie's head. She could feel his tears, making her cry harder. Mike rarely cried-never like this.
For an hour, the couple sat in the cold, empty room, crying, praying, and wondering how in the world this had happened.
"We need to go home and tell the girls, they're going to be worried." Carrie mumbled, still sitting with her head on Mike's chest and his arm tightly around her. She knew sitting down and telling her daughters was going to be even harder than this had been.
Mike nodded, standing up as Carrie did. He pulled her into his arms, letting out a sigh as he gave her a long assuring hug as to say that it would be okay.
They both went to the bathroom to try and clean up. Carrie's makeup was all over her face and they both had red puffy eyes from all the crying they'd done. They had to look presentable enough not to scare the girls before the told them.
"Let's go." Mike took her hand as she left the bathroom, squeezing it tight.
The ride home was pretty silent minus the radio. They pulled into the driveway and entered the house.
"How did your appointment go? What did they say?" Hadley asked, greeting them as they walked in.
Carrie bit her lip hard to keep from crying. "Come sit."
Mike followed her over to the couch, where together they sat down and told the girls everything.
That night, the Fisher family sat crying in each other's arms, holding each other tight and praying silently for some type of miracle.
