Yin-Yang~Ziam

no. 21

Zayn's P.O.V

I feel empty, riding in the silent car, listening to the bumps on the road and wind rush past the windows. I can't believe my mom is sick, I cannot lose her.

My mind flashes back to hours ago, her and me crying in each others arms, not moving. We stood there for an hour. I waited until she was long asleep to leave, I just needed to get out, to scream and cry and let everything out.

I turn to Liam who's gripping the steering wheel tightly. He's so amazing.

"Where are we going?" I mumble pulling my knees up to my chest. I'm starting to realize how horrible I must look, baggy sweatshirt and leggings with sandals, my hair untouched.

"Where do you feel like going?" Liam asks drumming his fingers on the black steering wheel turning on the radio giving the awkward silence some background.

I shrug, leaning back into the leather seat I feel my eyes start to well up again but I blink furiously.

"You know its okay to cry, especially in front of me. I won't judge you for any way that you are feeling right now" Liam speaks sincerely making the fat, salty tears slip out and run down my cheeks.

He takes a hand off the wheel and places it on my thigh, squeezing tightly in an attempt to calm me down. I lean into his touch, gripping his entire arm, holding it tightly against me, he doesn't seem to be bothered by it thankfully.

We continue driving, a basic pop song playing on the radio. Liam moves to turn it up letting Cake By the Ocean play. I feel my eyes start to roll as it blasts from the speakers.

I turn to see Liam bobbing his head ridiculously then turning to me singing every lyric very off key. I scrunch my nose up feeling a small smile start to appear as he sings one of the most annoying songs on the planet.

"Talk to me babayyy!" He practically screams turning his head to me to kiss my cheek before he continues with his performance.

I find my fingers tapping my own thigh and my head bobbing slightly. I wipe my tears and slightly dampened cheeks and start to bob my head up and down more, to the horrible beat of the song.

"You don't actually like this song do you!?" I yell over the music as we continue to dance, driving down a car free road thankfully.

"No! Noah likes it but he calls it 'icecream by the ocean' because he doesn't really like cake." Liam explains how he really knows the song making me laugh. Noah is such a cute kid.

I focus my attention to outside the window, not much that I could see, we live in Florida, and even the lights didn't help me in this situation.

I sit back in the comfy seat and snuggle into it waiting until the car finally rolls to a stop. He hops out of the car running to the other side to open the door for me before going to his trunk pulling out a few things, towels, a water proof case, and a cooler.

I immediately feel uncomfortable one, because I can't swim, and two, because I hate boy swimsuits and I dont think I'm ready to wear girl swimsuits either. Its stressful.

I grab his hand taking in the surroundings, it looks like a normal beach, from what I can see, a few cliffs atleast a half mile away. Liam doesn't say anything and instead guides me through the white sand. I decide not to question following along swallowing thickly as memories of me and my mom at the beach when I was younger flooded my mind.

I remember it clearly, I hadn't cut my hair in months and it was long almost at my shoulders, I wore my sisters athletic shorts and a tanktop. I was extremely awkward..and then came my mom, shutting down any bad thought I had about myself she always makes me see the best within me and that I matter.