Treat you better-Shawn Mendes

Hidden insecurities

Ashley 's POV:

   I looked into the mirror, staring at the reflection of my nude body. It was so unreconcilable to me. Bruises covered my body. It hurt to move. I broke down into sobs as I marvelled at how fucked up my life was... When will it ever end?! I thought. My body shook as I sobbed and slid my back down on the wall behind me till I reached the floor. My face was in my hands and my knees were tucked into my chest. 

'Why am I even alive? What am I here for?' I thought , searching for an answer I couldn't not find.

When my crying fit was over, I slowly got up and walked over to the shower and turned the shower on. I stuck my hand under the wet sprays of warm water before stepping under it. I let the warm water sooth my aching body, and watched as the water circling the drain turned a light shade of red as the water cleaned away the blood from some cuts on my leg from when the glass broke....

-About 1 hour earlier-

I was running late getting home, knowing my father would get angry with me for being late I ran as fast as I could to get back before I was late for curfew. As I ran up the driveway my breathing was labored as I tried to calm down. I opened the door and peaked my head through it looking around for him. I stepped in and shut the door quietly. I checked my watch it read 8:02pm. Shit...Two minutes late...

I walked into the kitchen to grab something to eat hoping my dad wouldn't notice my tardiness.

"Where were you?"

I froze in my tracks and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on edge. My father...

"I...I was..um, I was running late because I missed the schoolbus and I had to walk home.. My teacher had me stay in the class late because of an event that she wanted me to take a look at..sir."I stuttered. My breathing quickened slightly waiting for what was inevitable to occur. I could tell the way my father was swaying back and forth, and how he slurred his words, he was drunk. Very drunk.

"You thing that is an excuse you lazy ass bitch?! I bet you were just messing around with those stupid friends of yours." He growled. 

"No sir, really! I missed my bus and I had to run all the way back home to try and make cerfew but I ended up being two minutes late! Please sir forgive me!" I begged as I backed away, accidentally dropping the glass  cup in my hand. I gasped as I quickly bent down to clean it up, apologizing all the while. "Look at what you did you stupid good-for-nothing slut!" He yelled as he grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked me up. I screamed in pain as I clutched my head trying to pry his hand off my head. "Please stop your hurting me!" I begged.

He just laughed at my pain and threw me across the floor hitting the cabinets. My leg scraped across the broken glass that had shattered all over the floor. I screamed as the glass dug into my skin. It didn't go very deep but it needed to be fixed up. "Are you going to cry like the little bitch you are?" He taunted me."I don't know why your mother even died for you. You were just a mistake. I never wanted to end up with you! But here we are!" He growled in a low voice. "What did I ever do to you?" I whimpered. He crouched down next to my crumpled form and leaned in next to my ear. I could smell the alcohol that plagued his breath as he whispered into my ear,

"You were born..."

-present time-

My father didn't love me. I was just a mistake. I am not even supposed to be here. So why am I still here? Why doesn't he just kill me already? It would save him the burden that was me, end the pain that was my life. End my existence. No one would even care if I was gone. No one loves me. No one cared for me. The tears started to stream down my face as the thoughts of earlier events rushed back into my memory. The water turned cold as it streamed down my back. I turned the water off and stepped out. I then wrapped my towel around my naked body and patted my body dry. I took my first aid kit that I had bought, out and patched up my leg. This first aid just was the only thing that even remotely cared for me in this world. It has been good to me throug he years. When i was done I put it back in its place under the sink in my bathroom. I wrapped the towel in my hair to hopefully dry it off a bit, and put on an oversized t-shirt and a pair of baggy sweat pants. They were soothing on my sensitive healing  skin and were really comfortable. Then I layed down on my bed and fell asleep. Tomorrow was going to be another day in hell. 

I need a miracle. Just one to prove that everything would be okay. Little did I know that it would come sooner than I thought.

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