Chasing

#4

Ever since I was in junior high, even when I couldn't make breakfast for myself, or still needed a doll by my side at night, I had always felt the need of Gerard in my life. I had feelings for him even before I knew the meaning of the word "emotions."

It was always about him. The first day of the school was all it took for me give my self to him,when this little kid pulled my pony tied hair and spilled all the painting colours on my dress. Even though I got angry until I cried, this kid later made an effort to apologise by giving up his candy bar for me, and deep down I smiled thinking how this little kid cared enough to ask for a genuine appology. It was since that moment, I didn't stop about Gerard. There was no backing off about him.

Even though he pulled millions of stunts on me that year, even though he made me cry every other day, even though he stole my lunch, tore my books, spoiled my dress, almost every single day, it only made me feel closer to him. Nothing ever made me not like him. Everything that he did, it only made my feelings for him grow.

But love would be a strong word to describe my feelings for him back then. Its not possible for a girl of eleven to feel the actual love towards someone.

But I would say "infatuated beyond recovery".
I was infatuated by him, by everything he did. I was infatuated towards him as he made my presence felt,when no other kid even knew my name or even bothered to ,all due to my huge size. My physical appearance was one factor that I wasn't proud of, neither was anyone. Before Gerard came into picture, I was that fat girl with no friends who sat on the last bench of the class fiddling with a pencil and drawing doodles in the last page of every notebook.

And one day he left. He went somewhere and never showed up again. It left me devastated. The only person who made me feel like I existed, vanished in blue.  It was only after he left Abby and Ro came to the picture.

I thought the feelings I had for him, would slowly dissapear, not that I wanted to though. But instead it only grew.

As the years passed,  I grew both mentally and physically but I never grew to be over him. I was still confused because of the tingles I used to get when I thought about him, when I used to wake up the other morning after dreaming about him all night; even though I hadn't met him for years.

Since I had always regarded my feelings for him as infatuation, I was never sure about love. But then I later realized that I had a universe sized crush on him.

I couldn't help but always think about him and the mini stunts he always pulled on me. I used to smile at the beautiful memories he left behind. I used to play it all, again and again everyday. I used to stalk him like a creep in facebook., though I never sent him a friend request. I was his secret admirer since forever. I knew what he liked and what he didn't. I knew where he was and with whom he was; that much of a stalker i was.Maybe that's why I never forgot him.

And when I finally have reached highschool, after spending countless sleepless night crying over him, I have come to conclusion that I am madly in love with him.

"Detentions over, you can leave now" Mr Victor, announced. I earse all my thoughts, quickly grab my bag and make my out of the class. Since the training made me real tired, I decided to take a cab home.

I make my way out of the hall way, and out of the school gate. Luckily I got a cab immediately.

Having reached my house, I paid for the ride, jumped out of the cab and darted straight to my room.

After the usual after school rituals, I turn on the Netflix and played "Blended". I loved that movie. I have watched it like for a million times, though no one knows about it.

Here's a secret, I love to watch action movies, animies and cartoon movies with others, but pure romantic movies and rom-com are my "alone-watch". And no one knows that I watch such movies, not even Abby and Ronald. Its not that its a big secret thing I'm keeping, but " I never told them, they never asked me-and that's that. "

Halfway through the movie,just when Adam Sandler is playing basketball with his daughter, my phone starts buzzing, and when I check the screen, Ro pops up.

I pause the movie and pick up the call.

"Wassup!" I say.

" Whaxa doing big boy" Ro says, and I can feel him smirking at other end.

I roll my eyes and stuff popcorn on my mouth and say. " Movie and will you stop with the big boy, I'm a girl you know."

" Yea yea.. Like you are.." He says laughing.

"Why did you call, I'm half way through my movie." I say frowning.

"Just checking on you. Though you might be all alone when we guys are enjoying pizzas..and ..um...chopseys...and umm..coockie and neutella ice-cream..and what is that babe"  he asks Abs who probably is laughing her ass off " and yea apple pie.." He says still laughing, trying to make me feel how much of fun I'm missing.

"You know what? I'm not intrested in all those food" I say trying to sound unaffected. Lier.

"Don't lie Tessa, I know how much of a foodie you are. Umm this ones delicious" he says as he makes groaning sound.

" Jerk..I'm hanging up" I say as I pout. I so despretly want to be with them, especially the food. Ugh

" okhai im stopping it..and..listen....something really important" he says, still laughing though

"Shoot!" I say

" um...uh..." Hen stammers

"Quick Ro!" I say sounding irritated. I so want to continue my movie.

"Uh...the fooodsreallygoodherebye" he says and starts laughing.

"Assholes" I say and hang up.I smile to my self as I think of how they tease my so much.

I then quickly order pizza, since "once you hear about pizza, you have to eat a pizza" and turn on the movie.

Adam Sandlers daughter who is so much like a guy, is now transformed into a beautiful girl as she gets makeover and the guy who loves notices her.

This thing hits me like an arrow. I should probably get a makeover to get noticed by Gerard. I think for a while about it.

And just then the bell rings and I jump to get the pizza. I pay the delivery boy and start with the movie as I pick up a slice. In think for a while about the whole make over thing and then when I see the pizza slice on my hand, I smile.

"Nah....I'm good. Pizzas good" and I flush away the thought of makeover, since a guy can break your heart but a pizza can never!

And so I finish a box of pizzas all by myself!!!

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#unedited#