A Change of Plans & Heart

5

I woke up in the bed I had gotten into the night before.

My head was throbbing and my whole left side was numb. I tried to sit up and cried out in pain. I moved the blanket off myself and saw that my left leg was badly bruised, but didn't swell and wasn't broken. Thank my lucky stars.

I covered myself back up and blushed at the thought of someone changing my clothes. I had been raped, but that didn't make someone seeing me naked any easier. I looked around and realized what was missing. My cell phone. No one had one and I hadn't seen one since I arrived. In fact, I hadn't seen any phones at all. It made me wonder if maybe contact with the outside world was a luxury only allowed to a select few who sit in a control room and communicate with the general public.

The door opened and I was relieved to see a woman walk in.

"Are you awake?" She asked in a small, timid voice.

"Yeah," I replied. She approached the bed.

"I'm not supposed to be in here, but He has gone out for the day, to avoid conflict with you since you pissed him off. I wanted to see you," she said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I had to get a look at you for myself. Everyone says you're the most beautiful angel we've ever had. They were right," she beamed.

"Thank you, but I disagree. I've been degraded down to nothing by men since I got here. If being beautiful gets you raped, cut and shot at, fucking count me out," I spat. I was sick of the way I looked. It's what got me here in the first place.

"Raped? No, you were claimed. And you didn't feel the cut. You were asleep. You wouldn't have been shot at, had you not run away," she replied. Everyone in this place was brainwashed. She stood up.

"And you're with the master. Imagine how many girls would kill to take your place. Maybe even kill you," she said, before walking out and slamming the door behind her. I softly fell back asleep.

"Wake up. Wake up, now," his voice boomed into my dreams. I slowly woke up to him leaning over me. He didn't look pleased.

"Care to explain?" He asked.

"Explain what?" I replied. Someone whose kidnapped shouldn't have to explain leaving.

"Why you left without permission? Why you tried to get yourself killed?" He demanded.

"I wanted to go home. I didn't know someone would chase me and try to kill me. How could I have possibly foreseen that happening?" I begged. I started to cry. He wiped my tears with a soft black tissue.

"Cali, I'm sorry but it's gonna work. You're not going to soften me up. Not with near-death experiences, and not with tears. You should be groveling to me for saving you last night!" He yelled. I cried harder.

"I wouldn't have been in that position if you never would've brought me here!" I cried. He held his head in his hands.

"This conversation is over. You broke my trust. Consider yourself on lockdown. You couldn't handle being a companion, so I guess you're reduced to a sex slave until I decide otherwise," he said, matter-of-factly.

"Why are you doing this to me? If women are as important as you said they are, you wouldn't demean me like this. It hurts," I whispered. He sighed.

He knelt down beside the bed.

"Cali, there's a lot you don't understand. Someday, maybe I'll grant you the privilege of knowing why I am the way I am, but that's yet to be determined," he put his head down.

"Let me in. I don't understand anything, " I said through the years.

He kissed my cheek gently.

"Someday, angel." He said, before walking out.

I was in too much pain to get up, and all I could do was cry.

I spent a lot of time crying. More than I ever thought possible. It had nothing to do with the pain. I was condemned to live the rest of my life in hell. Literal hell.

I had been kidnapped, and my captor had zero intentions of ever letting me go. I tried to run, and lost the small but of freedom that I still had.

I was told what to wear, when to speak, where to go, and who to be. I couldn't be me anymore. I was dead. All my choices had been taken away from me. I could either kill myself, attempt to contact someone and get help, which would lead to me getting killed, or live my life the way that's laid out in front of me.

Not to mention, I was almost murdered. Why? Was it because I was in a Neo car? If so, why do they color code their vehicles? Isn't that dangerous? And who was mad at me? How did Abel know to follow me?

None of my questions were going to be answered. I wasn't allowed to be curious. And then, I was rendered incapable of walking.

But there was one thing that bothered me- no, ate away at my very soul more so than anything else; I didn't hate him.

My captor. The man who took my life away from me. I could not hate that man. I hated abuse. I hated racism. I hated everything he did and stood for. But I didn't hate him, and I could not convince myself otherwise.

I cried again. But this time, I wasn't wailing. I wasn't screaming in mental agony. My tears were silent and steady. I was feeling the life drain out of me. I was hypersensitive to everything around me; the satin sheets that were stuck to my feverish body, the smell of stale cigarettes, the sound of the wind coming through the one open window.

I could jump out that window. It'd be over. It would be all over. But I knew I couldn't bring myself to do that. I just wish I knew why I was needed.

Surely I would at least have some responsibilities. I couldn't be reduced to a housewife for a mobster. I simply wouldn't do it.

He'd have to kill me.