Starstruck - Shawn Mendes / boyxboy

Chapter Eleven: Roger Brentwood

Edited: No

Jacob's POV

I continued walking until I reached the entrance of the cemetery. I took a a long breathe to help calm my nerves, tightening my grip on the bouquet in my hands. I finally entered the cemetery, which only a few people were visiting. My anxiety started kicking in, which was preventing me from going into the building where you ask someone to find a grave, so it was just me on this journey to find my dad.

I wandered the cemetery trying to remember where his funeral was held, the location where he was buried. This cemetery is mainly flat, but I recognized a tree in the area, which I have a memory with.

After his ceremony, I remember going to that tree, sliding down it to cry. That was the tree, where I last saw my dad's grave.

Once I fully remembered the tree, my heart started to race. It won't be long until i find his grave. I walked towards the tree and put my hand on it, trying to retrace my footsteps, of the last time I was here. I let my feet control me, and let it wander to wherever feels right.

As I was walking and reading the names on the tombstones, I finally found it. My dad's grave.

Roger Brentwood

1972-2009

I walked in front of the grave, admiring it, knowing that right under my feet, is where my dad lays to rest.

"Hey dad, long time no see." I started off, kneeling down, to get closer to the headstone.

"Dad, I really miss you. Mom really misses you. We all do dad." I whispered, tears starting to form in my eyes.

"Why'd you have to leave so early? You won't see my mature, graduate, or even get married dad. Why?" I whispered once again, the tears flowing down my face.

"I'm sorry dad, I'm so sorry for having this happen to you. I'm sorry for feeling so selfish, Im sorry that you got in an accident because of me. This is all my fault." I whispered, sitting down fully, crossing my legs.

"You've missed so much. I met him dad. I met him. Shawn. He makes me happy, his music makes me happy. You probably don't know him, but he's such an amazing person." I said laughing to myself at the end.

"Mom's been working harder dad, I'm worried about her. I feel like she's working too hard. I don't want her to over work herself." I said, the mood getting sadder again. "I don't want her to end up like you. She's working hard because of me, and I don't want to be the reason for another person dying. She's barely home anymore dad, she's always working." I said wiping my tears off my face.

"Dad, I wish you were still here, I wish we were still a family. I wish you never died. I wish you were here with me, helping mom and I. Help me through this."

"I know you aren't here with us. But, I know you're watching us, watching mom keep me happy and ourselves fed. I know you're watching me grow up. I just know it."

"Please watch over us dad, please watch over mom, make sure she doesn't overwork her self for me, keep her safe for me and for you." I said looking up at the sky, clouds starting to cover the clear sky.

"I love and miss you so much dad. So much." I whispered, standing up. "I'll come back soon I promise. I love you." I said, putting the bouquet right in front of the headstone, before walking away. I looked back one more time, smiling to myself before walking away, making my way back to leave the cemetery.

-=+=-

When I reached my house, the realization finally hit me. I actually visited my dad's grave. Something I have always wanted to do, finally happened.