Counting Stars (Klaine)

Counting Stars

  “Kurt,” Blaine reached out and grabbed his arm. “Come on –“

  “Let me go.” Kurt hissed, not looking at the other boy.

   How what just happened had happened, Kurt had no idea. All he knew at the moment was that he needed to get out of there. He needed to get away from this damned house and what it did to him. He needed to get real.

  “Kurt, stop, don’t go –come on –“

  “Let. Me. Go.” Kurt hissed again, turning and looking at Blaine angrily. “And if you ever kiss me again –“

  “You kissed me.” Blaine said calmly.

  Kurt tried to answer, but all that came out was some sort of weird grunt.  Then, trying to keep the anger and frustration from leaving his body, he said,

  “Just –let me go and I won’t break your stupid face.”

  “Kurt…” Blaine said, voice breaking a little. He wanted few things less in that moment than to let go, but he did, feeling how his face was heating up in embarrassment. He flinched when the door got slammed shut loudly.

   Fuck.

  He’d actually let himself believe that that had been it; he’d thought that, finally, Kurt had let him in. Kurt knew what he was talking about. Kurt wanted him the same way Blaine wanted him in return.

But no. No, of course not. How could he ever have thought that–

It was never going to happen.

  But… Kurt had reacted much more positively to his words than he’d though he would; he hadn’t hit him or closed himself off completely again. And then it was that kiss that had happened out of nowhere. (and much to Blaine’s pleasure) That kiss had been… one of the best kisses he’d ever –no, maybe even the best kiss he’d ever experienced. And Kurt had been so nervous and said that he was going to try and behave. He’d seemed like such a… boy, such an innocent boy. He’d been so different, and still he was somehow just the same.

And somehow –somehow he just knew that… he was sure that for a moment Kurt had forgotten to protect himself from anything and everything he was feeling, that that kiss had been real. It hadn’t all been Blaine being naïve; it hadn’t been Kurt just playing with his emotions because he enjoyed it.

No.

The kiss, even the nervous, adorable, version of Kurt that’d come stumbling down the stairs, had been real. It had. He was sure of it.

But things just couldn’t be as simple as that. They never were. Kurt would never… he would never make such a big turn just like that just because Blaine’d been taking care of him through his horrible flu.

  Blaine buried his face in his hands, trying and succeeding to force the mess of emotions suddenly wanting to surface and leave his body in a million different ways to stay locked away somewhere where they wouldn’t be seen.

 It had been long since he’d last felt this vulnerable, since he’d last let his emotions steer him like this.

   “Fuck…” he groaned, rubbing his face with both of his hands angrily. “Pull yourself together, this isn’t like you.”

   Why? Said a quiet little voice from the back if his head. Blaine almost said ‘why what’ aloud, before realizing that the voice had come from his own head.

  Why isn’t this like you? Said the same voice again, apparently responding to Blaine’s silent question.You’ve never found yourself in this position before, have you? So how do you know that this isn’t like you?