The Boy Who Couldn't Cry

Chapter 3- No Emotions, No Pain

My parents worried. They talked about sending me to therapy, because they thought I was struggling with teen depression. But I wasn't. I was perfectly fine. Why couldn't they see that? The walls I had put up to protect my heart did their job. They kept the pain out.

Besides, numbness wasn't such a bad feeling. Numbness was better than pain, wasn't it? Throughout the next few weeks, I didn't suffer as much. I started thinking less, I started feeling less, and I started crying less. Eventually, I stopped crying completely. Those days were over.

By this time I had just turned seventeen years old. I kept my grades up and the teachers liked me because I was quiet instead or rowdy like the other students. See? Life was great. I didn't need friends. I didn't need emotions. I could live life perfectly fine without either of those things.

Most of the kids avoided me by this point, which made it easier for not making friends. Some called me a freak, but I didn't care. Jokes on them. They have friends. Their weaknesses are now known by the people close to them. Not me. I was protected. I was wearing a suit of armor around my heart.

I kept telling myself I was fine. I never cried, I never realized I was sad. I never realized I was lonely. I kept myself busy with school work and the rest of the time I would stare up at my ceiling doing nothing. I was bored, but protected. I was alone, but safe. That's all that mattered to me now. I didn't want to lose the people I cared about anymore, so I just didn't care about people anymore. It seemed effective at the time. No feelings, no pain. Right? Wrong.