Diary Of A Nerdy Teenage Girl (On Hold)

chapter 1

Not Edited

Two years ago

Running forward, I pushed myself upwards and pulled my feet to my chest. Spinning 3 times, I released my feet getting ready for the landing. Unfortunately Losing balance as I touched the ground I fell once again onto my butt.

About to try again, Emily one of my best friends and talented cheerleaders on my team rushed in. She was panting heavily and her face was masked with fear, "Willow thank god you're here, you need to come outside quickly," She managed to get out then ran away. I followed behind her to see what was wrong. Once out the building, I noticed something,

A lot of people were outside and they were looking at something on top of the building. I moved towards them my face masked with confusion, lifting my head upwards I caught sight of a familiar blond. Hannah.

Hannah Wright, a blond stereotype cheerleader. A very sweet and nice person, although popular has been numerously labeled a slutty bitch. It was weird and scary that I wasn't shocked she was there, It was pretty obvious she was trying to kill herself and I was the reason.

"Hannah, get down from there." I yelled up to her, she looked down at me and shook her head forcefully. "No. No, I am sick and tired of this and I am going to end it!" She yelled back. I wasn't confused whatsoever, It was pretty clear to everyone what was going on.

There were so many people outside but none were doing anything, some were taping it on their phones others looked bored by this. Probably thinking this was an attempt to get self pity, but as I looked up even though the sun was shooting its rays into my eyes as I looked up, I saw nothing but sadness.

Racking my brain for options on what to do, I made a beeline for the stairs and rushed up to the roof. Pushing the door open, I spotted Hannah on the other end of the building. "Han！" I called at her as she turned around. She looked at me with swollen eyes, I could obviously tell she was crying. I started towards her and she moved backward, causing me to abruptly stop.

"Stay away from me Willow." She yelled and move inches backwards, of course the ledge was wide but not wide enough. I put my hands forward to stop her from moving backwards any further. Staring into her eyes, I could see the pain. 

The pain she felt, I wanted it gone. I wanted to take it away, I wanted this stupid thing to end so it could all go back to normal. Who am I kidding, it could never go back to normal all because of me, I did this and I can't undo it even if I tried.

"Why are you doing this？" I asked her softly. My heart was beating hard slamming forcefully against my ribcage and my palms were sweating, at the moment I didn't have any idea what to do. My brain finally came up with a solution, a popular phrase 'always be calm' popped up.

"Oh, don't play dumb. You know exactly why I am doing this." She spat at me as tears pooled out of her eyes, slowly and carefully I started walking towards her. Her face once masked with sadness had merged into slight anger.

"Look, these are people who are jealous of you, they think by hurting you they make themselves happy. you can try to ignore -" I was interrupted by Hannah, "No, I can't. They follow me, they post mean things. They just can't stop, I can't take it anymore," She yelled but ended with a whisper.

Closing her eyes for a few seconds, her eyelids flew open and her dark orbs stared right into me. "It's okay. I will be with you throughout all of this, I've always been."  I was a few feet away and I could easily grab her. Hopefully, I would. 

"It's easy for you. You get whatever you like, whenever you want it. Not everyone is as fortunate as you, I'm not that lucky." She yelled sniffling, then added softly, so soft it was barely there "But the pain's gonna end now. Goodbye Willow." Locking eyes with me, she smiled for a second before she leaned backward, quick on my feet I rushed towards her,

Luckily I took hold of her hand and was pulled forward. She was dangling from the edge and I was holding onto her. My feet slipping and If I lost my balance we could both lose our lives. Pressing my feet against the ledge, pulling her upward slowly but she was refusing,

"Hannah let me help you！" I pleaded as tears started falling from my eyes. I didn't want to loose my best friend, I love and care about her too much. I never thought I'd be in a situation like this and all because of a stupid boy misunderstanding.

"Let go of me！" She yelled back. Her voice cracking I could feel the pain too, I understood so well what she was going through and worse of all, I didn't know how to help her. "NO!"

"Let go！" She screamed as she used her other hand to hit mine. She kept on doing it repeatedly but I didn't let go. As the seconds went by, her weight was pulling me forward and she was refusing my help. My palms were getting sweaty and I knew that soon I wouldn't be able to hold on any longer. 

"I love you Willow, but you have to let go. Just let me go," She whispered and it seemed as those word tumbled out of her mouth, my hands had lost all its strength and I made the biggest mistake ever, I let go,

"Hannah!!!"

She let out a shriek before plummeting to the ground, she was covered in a dark red substance and her skull smashed but that didn't matter right now. What mattered was the fact that my bestfriend was gone. Forever.

A crowd had gathered around her body, there were frightening screams, people were everywhere. Some people were still taping it all, others started up at me. My vision had started to blur, I held back to urge to throw up.

I sunk to my feet and started whispering to myself, as tears spilled out my eyes. I Furiously wiped my face and curled into a ball wrapping my hands around my legs as my breath hitched. Memories of Hannah flashed in my head, a small smile made its way to my face

I heard footsteps, pounding against the floor. More and more until they stopped before me, hands gripped me, shook me but I didn't affect me. I was far gone, my mind on one thing, my best friends. The pretty blond to talk to me on the first day of kindergarten. 

I heard the voice talking and screaming but I couldn't understand, nothing was getting through. "It's alright. Everything is fine. Keep it together," I kept telling myself in a little whisper, but the truth is nothing was fine or okay. Hannah was gone forever and it was all my fault.

The last thing I remember was her beautiful face smiling at me and saying something before I blacked out.