Foster Family

warning. sadness.

Hey everyone chapter isn't going to be like the others. It has nothing to do with the story. I just wanted to tell you guys about something that I've been thinking about recently.  It was two years ago but I still feel responsible for it. This is kind of hard to say but I need someone who'll listen. 2 years ago my grandpa my favorite one he passed away. He had something wrong with his heart. He was visiting and we went to the park after lunch. I felt tired so I want to Sleep in the truck while everyone, else my little brother and my grandma and grandpa went to the Park. I woke up and had the strange feeling. It just felt like something wasn't right you know? Anyway I got out of the truck and started walking to the park. There were sirens, there was a group of people on the ground at the Pavilion and this wonderful woman she went to get me and she drove me and Corbin my little brother to the hospital. My grandpa had a heart attack they did surgery and he was getting  better for a while. Corbin was too young to visit him in ICU but I got some see him and he said that he would he would get better very soon. Then a few days later they found out that something else wasn't working right I think it might have been his kidney or liver but it kept getting worse and they said they wouldn't be able to fix it he got so sick I didn't even get to see him again and I think it might be hard for me because I've never seen him so weak. He'd always been so strong. He was in the military he was a hunter. He was always there for me didn't expect to lose him. As a kid I thought he was invincible but I guess he wasn't. Everyone was falling apart at the funeral. My mom hates anyone dying. My dad, it was his father. So I had to be strong. I went to the bathroom and cried for a good 5 minutes. I came out and I had to be strong smiled and hugged everyone and thank them for being there. I swear the whole town... He didn't live in a huge town but most of the people  came that day. There was one lady she she said that I might blame him for passing away and I don't. I blame myself. I feel like I should have been there when it happened. I wanted to say goodbye. I even... when no one was looking I thought it might be a dream or a prank or something. Just really mean prank So I did something that I'm not proud of. I grabbed my grandfather's hand. It was as cold as ice and then I had to face facts he wasn't living anymore. I would never see him again. I cried so much. I hated the world. I'm an atheist but I swear I prayed to like every God I could think of and I hadn't cried once while he was in the hospital. I was so sure of myself, so sure that he would make it. I blamed myself for it. I still do. I know logically there's nothing I could have done about it but I feel if I was there it wouldn't have happened, it could have been prevented somehow and I know that's stupid. I miss him so much. He was everything to me.

I'm sorry for this I just needed to tell someone.  I'm planing a new chapter  so I'll see y'all  then <3
          -Shadow