lead me » jjk

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Believe it or not, he grew up with Jungkook. The two of them used to be inseparable, but now all they want to be is separate. Yoongi and Jungkook had been best pals since their early ages, being around second grade or maybe even a year lower.

Then new friends came along. It was over the years and Yoongi knew that Jungkook was going to find a new friend or two, it was just bound to happen. So when it did Yoongi went from a playful dork to an emotionless asshole.

Jungkook never understood Yoongi's reasoning's to becoming so cold, but never questioned it. All Yoongi wanted was an 'are you okay?' or maybe even more. Why wasn't he receiving that?

For years his home was labeled as the abusive home. Yoongi never wanted to step into the house... he did not want to see eye to eye with his alcoholic mother and his abusive father.

Still, Yoongi would attend school, hang around his friends, and on some occasions he would shed a happy smile. It was only because he did not want others to know that he was suffering on the inside.

Last year, Yoongi was diagnosed BPD, Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD is a serious mental illness marked by unstable moods, behavior, and relationship. People with this disorder also have high rates of co-occurring disorders, such as depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, and eating disorders, along with self-harm, suicidal behaviors, and completed suicides.

Yoongi does see therapists and they do tell him to hang around good friends, but whenever he does he just feels aggressive again.. like he wants to hurt someone.

"How are you feeling?" Yoongi's therapist uttered slowly so he could catch on.

He stared blankly for a few moments and clinched his fists, "I want him dead."

Her eyes shot wide at Yoongi's statement, but she did not want it to stop there. "Who do you want to kill, Yoongi?" she asked in a calm, worried manner.

"Jungkook."

"Why?"

Yoongi felt a cold tear drop trickle down his warm cheeks. "He left me for the others... for... for Winter. That's what he gets. Winter will never love him not ever."

"Y-Yoongi, have you harmed this young man?" She gulped afraid that she knew what the answer was going to be.

"Yes. I beat him back into reality." He announced blankly.

"I-Is he okay?"

"I surely hope not or that wouldn't be beating someone into reality, don't you think?" He cocked a brow and looked away to stare out of the window.

It was quite cloudy outside. It looked around seven in the evening. For some reason, Yoongi feels that the weather outside reflects his mood.

"Was anyone else hurt in the process?" she began to write on her notepad.

"Taehyung, my other friend, and you didn't think I could forget my parents... Could you?" he smirked and played with his fingers.

"How hurt is Taehyung? What did you do to your parents?" she looked directly into the ill one's eyes.

He pondered upon the questions for a moment, "Just a nosebleed. My parents? I just tied them in the closet." He laughed evilly.

"Yoongi! This isn't progress!" She slammed her notebook on to the floor and hovered over him, "These results are worse then last week!"

"Well, I loooove Jungkook." He cackled with his eyes shut, "For years I have been growing feelings for that kid, but he chose to be depressed over some chick named Winter? Cheesy. I hate the two of them and I hate that I can't have him. My parents never supported me being gay... hell, they never supported me."

The therapist's eyes widened with many emotions. She slowly took a seat again and picked up her notepad, writing down the summary of what Yoongi just said.

"You feel abandoned because Jungkook only cared for this Winter instead of you?" she asked carefully, watching closely.

All Yoongi did was look up and then right back down towards his feet. He watched as a droplet fell right next to his shoe. He then looked up to see if there was a hole in the wall, but Yoongi realized it was just his tears.

He nodded aggressively and broke down. The therapist ran over to comfort Yoongi and pat his back. "It'll be okay, sweetie."

...

The rain began to pour harder as Yoongi made his way back home. Once he got home he heard murmurs for help, but he passed the closet emotionless.

Yoongi went up the stairs and into his bedroom. He looked at his phone and found that his friends actually messaged him.

Everyone asked the same question... was Yoongi okay or where was he. Those questions became boring to him, after all, he knows they only asked because they had too.

Suddenly, his phone rang. He was a little curious as to who it was so he peeked at the screen only to find an unknown number.

"Hello," he answered swiftly.

"Hi, Suga-booga, it's your cousin!" she cheered happily through the phone, "I can't wait to visit auntie tomorrow and finally see you!"

"Oh, Winter." he stared at his reflection in the mirror before him, "Tomorrow? Can't. Wait." he clinched his free fist and hovered it over his table.

"You can finally meet my ChimChim~ he's so cute I promise." she giggled and hung up the phone after saying goodbye.

As soon as Yoongi heard the beep, he threw his phone and slamed his awaiting fist on to the table. He whimpered in pain, but his pain began to feel good.

Jungkook doesn't care for you. He wants Winter. He can't have Winter. Winter has a boyfriend. A boyfriend. Jungkook. Still. Likes. Winter.

All the thoughts rolling through his head made  the boy even more insane. A piece of him needed to scream, but the rest of him needed to cry. Which one was he going to do? Cry.

He cried his night away until he got a knock on the door. "Who in the lively Hell is it?" he asked and stood up opening the door.

"Yoongi.. we were informed you have an illness." Taehyung gulped and looked back.

Jungkook walked from behind Taehyung's back towards his side. "Are y-you feeling better?"

"A-Am I feeling better?" Yoongi smiled, "Awe, you guys are cute!" both of them smiled, "No the fuck I'm not feeling better! Are you feeling better Jeon fucking Jungkook?!"

Jungkook shook his head and looked down.

"Jungkook tried cutting again." Taehyung announced with gloomy eyes, "Now that he knows about Winter he just wants to die."

"Then die."