Brendon [P.O.V.]
I was in no way expressing these feelings I've been having. I am simply being back to our old friendship. Ryan was my bestfriend not someone I could fall in love with. I knew he was just behaving like a friend should. I was just taking advantage of his kindness. I was not going to take this as more than what came at face value. I rested my head back onto Ryan. His heart was fluttering like crazy. I looked at his light brown eyes and he looked happy. Well Ryan happy which is happy if your friends are happy. I hate that he never tells his true emotions. I just want to know. I want to know him. I want to see the real him. I want him. What no I didn't! I'm straight. Definaitly straight. I look back at Ryan's pouting lip. I want to kiss it so bad. Wait no bad brain no. I want to make him feel happy. I look over to see Spencer and Jon leave the room. I really wonder why they are acting so strange all of a sudden but figure not to question it.
"Brendon. how are you feeling. I feel like I haven't asked you that yet." Ryan whispered almost desperately.
"I am actually fairly happy right here right now." I snuggled closer to him with out even thinking. "Well, I could go for a drink of some sort but I'm fine for now."
"Would you like a soda? We have coke if you want one I can grab it." He looked at me with such pleading as if he only wanted to please me. Was Ryan starting to have feelings for me?
"Ryan, I don't want to bother to you Honey." I mumble. He looks into my eyes and cups my chin with one hand.
"It is no inconvience to me to help my best friend in his time of sorrow. I love you don't ever forget it." I was so shocked at his response. Ryan got up and grabbed to cokes and cookies for us. Oreo's are great for heart break might I add so is Ryan Ross. I grabbed a cookie and looked at it for a second before pushing it into Ryan's mouth. He whispered, "What was that for?" I laughed,
"I like seeing you with oreo on your face. You look so cute. I just can't resist it." He huffed,
"I'm not cute, I'm manly." I giggled at his usual response.
"When are you going to learn cute is much better than manly. Obviously, I'm too manly and Sara dumped me. You are fucking adorably cute and I would never dump you. Not that I would ever get the chance." He looked at me a bit puzzled.
"Brendon, I doubt you would ever want the chance." I shook my head at Ryan,
"How do you know? Maybe I love you Ryro. Maybe I have been madly in love with you for years! Sara dumping me was all a ploy so I could get all your attention again, obviously." He smirked at my sarcastic tone. I wondered if he thought any of that might be true. I really hope he did. I can't get him out of my head and I want him so bad sometimes. Ryan looked at his watch,
"Holy cow it's already midnight Bren we need to go to bed." I stiffled a groan about going to my own little bunk space. I wanted to sleep with Ryan again. He was just so comforting. I crawled into my pajamas and my bunk. I tossed and turned for maybe an hour before I gave up. I walked over to Ryan's bunk and whispered.
"Ryan, are you awake?" I heard a muffled noise,
"Yeah what's wrong Bren?"
"I can't sleep. I keep thinking." I squeaked probably sounding like a small child. I just needed Ryan right now.
"Bren, are you trying to say you want to sleep here?" He whispered.
"Please?" I pouted my lip hoping he could see it.
"Big spoon or little tonight?" He laughed.
"Little please." I smiled as I crawled into Ryan's loving embrace. He interlocked our legs and put an arm around my bare hip with his hand on my bare chest. He whispered in my ear,
"Now sleep like the little princess you are." I smiled as I felt a soft kiss on the back of my neck. I closed my eyes and melted into the beautiful man sleeping next to me.
I woke up to Ryan still crashed right beside me. The curtain opened and Spencer looked in. He whispered,
"Oh thank goats Brendon is in here. Jon he isn't missing." Jon let out a sigh of relief. I whispered,
"What time is it?"
"Only 9:30 so go back to sleep." I nodded and closed my eyes. Spencer shut the curtain and Ryan pulled me closer to him. I grabbed his hand and intertwined our fingers.Ryan stirred a bit and kissed my shoulder blade. I believe he thought I was still asleep. I smiled as he whispered,
"You will never understand how I feel about you." He then rested another kiss on my shoulder blade and went back to sleep. In that instance I felt so loved. I only wanted to hold Ryan and call him my own. Sara had never made me feel this wanted this loved. It was an amazing feeling and I just wanted to hold him claiming his as my own forever. Well not claiming but him letting me be with him forever was a better choice of words. I went still as Ryan moved his hand off my chest and whispered,
"No stop that hurts. Dad stop it!" I rolled over and cupped his face which had tears streaming down it. I hushed him,
"Ryan, wake up it is just a dream. I'm right here." Ryan opened his eyes to me and instantly embraced me. He sobbed,
"Brendon, it was so real. He was just hitting me and it hurt so bad. I yelled but he wouldn't stop!' I petted Ryan's hair and whispered,
"I know baby, I know." He started to breath more evenly and whispered,
"Did you just, call me... baby?" I gasp realizing what I had done and tried to play it off,
"I guess, yeah, sorry if it was... um... weird." My face must have been beat red from the heat I felt on my cheeks. Ryan just sighed,
"It's okay. I understand." I couldn't tell if his sigh was of relief or dissapointment though. He had his lip quivering again and looked so fragile. I kissed Ryan's forehead and whispered,
"I'm always going to be here." He nodded and whispered,
"Promise?" I nodded,
"Always and forever." I sighed as I got up to let Ryan out of the bunk. I laid back down by myself till Ryan came back with two coffee mugs and his laptop. He smiled as he played some classic saturday morning cartoons for us to enjoy.
"Have Spence or Jon asked you any weird questions?" I shooke my head not understanding his question. He sighed, "Never mind must just be me." I really wanted to know though so I will talk to them later I guess.
YOU ARE READING
Stop there, and let me correct it.
FanfictionRyan hears Jon and Spencer talking and it plants some seeds in his head. Does he really like Brendon or was it just what Jon and Spencer said that made him question his own sexuality?
