It's truly peculiar how you can think about a person every second of the day, yet you might only cross their minds once, if even that. I lie awake, thinking of all the ways we could get lost in each other, just you and me. All the laughs we could share, tears we could cry, and love we could form. When in reality, you view me as nothing more than a dorky girl who admires your everything. I mean, I don't doubt that you care about me. You certainly do. It's just that, you care about /everyone/ in your life. Although you treat me well, you give me the same treatment you would to everyone else you know. In your eyes, I'm just as special as every other person. If you ever left my life I'd more than likely put a gun to my head. While to you, my absence would be nothing more than a, "well that's a shame." - July 18th, 2016, 11:44PM.
a year has passed. you and I are different now, much different than I predicted. over the past year we built a friendship, a bond unlike any other. a partnership filled with tears, joy and platonic "I love You's" tossed all over the place. and believe me, I really do love you. but with that rise also came a shattering fall. with a few simple words, I lost my ability to trust both you and the words you spoke to me. you cannot love me, never how I love you, and I see that now. you seem more fascinated by how my life is of assistance to yours, rather than who I am as a person. you made it clear that you will never be able to truly trust me. you made it clear that you don't want to hangout with me, and that spending time with me isn't as valuable as smoking contraband. sometimes it feels like you care more about drugs and sleeping around than you do I. everytime you're at your worst, I am there. then afterwards, you send paragraphs of compliments my way and I believe them. but right after its over, you turn around and disrespect me all over again. I don't know what to believe anymore. our friendship will sink beneath our toes if we don't sort out our insecurities. otherwise they will eat us whole and break us a part. it's a shame, you're so much different now. who would have known that that hug goodbye was saying goodbye to eachother possibly forever. - July 18th 11:53pm
