Trigger Warning - Graphic depictions of violence
Flashback
We were on the way back from my cousins 18th birthday party with my mother driving. A black hole of darkness was surrounding us with dimly lit street lamps providing the minimum amount of light needed to see ahead.
I sat in the passenger seat because I didn't want to show my fear. My cousin Sara had begged my Mom to let me stay but she brought up a huge list of housework I had to do, as usual. It was the first day of the summer holidays and I was getting so pissed off.
"Are you serious? The holidays have just started." I pleaded in my cousins house.
"Aawww, well maybe you should have gotten everything done first then you could have stayed." She mocked me.
"But I can do that the next day."
"No! You never listen to what I say. Your not staying and that's final." She said, raising her voice with each word.
"For Gods sake," I mumbled.
" It's not like you do what I tell you or behave. You never do anything properly." She said in a harsh, bitter tone.
"Well I just want to stay one day!" I emphasised with a slightly raised voice.
"But your not going to."
I slumped back on the sofa defeated and exhausted. Sara made eye contact with me and then upstairs so I got up and walked out of the living room and to the stairs waiting for her. She followed a few minutes later and gave a sad pout.
"You can't stay," she whined.
"I know," I mumbled. "I told you."
"It's okay. Don't worry about it." She said after noticing my change of mood. "Have you got everything you need for university yet?" She questioned trying to change the topic.
"I still need some stuff, but I don't have any money left."
"Just ask your Mum."
"Yeah," I hesitated with a slight nod.
Now in the car the whole atmosphere was different. Silence caught in the air.
I had music playing in one ear, calming me as it always does. Just when I thought I had been at the receiving end of her anger for the evening, she started again.
"You want to stay but you never respect me enough to do what I tell you." She spat.
I stayed quiet.
"Stupid bitch. We haven't wasted this money on you for you to just answer us back. You should listen for once and I might actually let you do what you want for once." She added with the same venom.
I shuffled in my seat closer to the window. She looked in my direction and saw the earphone I had in.
" You're not supposed to be listening to music. It's wrong - it corrupts you. Why don't you get that in your stupid head you slag? You don't care about your anything. You just care about music like that's going to help you when you die." She shouted with pure rage whilst yanking the earphones I had in and scratching my upper chest in the process with her sharp nails that have marked a few places on my body already.
My body tensed up from anger, fear and adrenaline. I didn't want this.
Her hypocritical statements just flew over my head as I was trying so hard to fight the tears back. She kept shouting. She wouldn't stop. I tightened my fists and all the rush I felt almost gave in. I wanted this to end. I wanted to jump out and be away from this endless emotional torture. I thought about my life, about how I had a few months left and I would be in a totally different country.
YOU ARE READING
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