Alice: Recovered Memories

Just Between You and Me

Author's note: This entry is dedicated to my mother, Danelle McKellar.  Today (December 15) is her birthday.  My mom has always been one of my dearest friends and I don't know where I'd be without her.  I love you.

Suddenly, I found myself in the present again.  I released Shelly's hand and took a deep breath, trying to clear my head.  "Wow."  I just didn't know what to say.  This was all so intense; it felt like it was happening right now, not 100 years ago.  If I were capable of it, I know my eyes would be filled with tears.  Just seeing my mother's face... I suddenly began to remember what she looked like based on my own memories, not just the ones planted in my head from Shelly.  

Jasper must have tasted the tenor of my emotions.  "Do you need some time alone, Alice?"  I nodded quickly.  I grabbed on to the nearest  tree. a fir tree, and climbed up it swiftly.  I stopped, perching on a high branch, and sat in a crouched position.  I know it was silly, but I really felt like my head was clearer up there.

"If it's OK with you, I'm going to take Shelly and Steve back to our house and introduce them to the family.  I'm not sure how much Edward may have told them about them, since he and Bella were off to go hunting."

I nodded, still up high in my perch.  "They should be returning within the next couple of minutes.  Edward plans to tell everyone that we ran across two new vampires, but not any specifics.  Feel free to introduce them to everyone."  With that, I heard the three of them swiftly take off through the woods and back to the house.  I sat motionless in the trees.  At times like this, I wished that I could spend time with Jacob or Renesmee.  They efffectively blocked me from having any visions of the future while I was in their proximity.  I wasn't sure if I could handle the onslaught of past, present, and future all at once.  

After what only seemed like a few minutes, but was probably a couple of hours, I returned back to the house.  I found Emmett having an animated conversation with Steve.  They were wondering who would win in a fight.  Emmett was also interested in showing off his hunting skills, and further explaining our vegetarian diet to our new friends.  Rosalie and Esme were chatting with Shelly.  They were explaining some of the history of our family and how we'd come to end up in Forks.  

"There she is." Jasper smiled and was at my side almost immediately.  Edward and Bella joined him..  "Feeling better?" my husband asked.

"Yes, a lot better."  I smiled.  I looked Bella up and down and sighed.  "Aren't you going to wear ANY of the clothes we bought when we went shopping in Seattle?  I mean, really, Bella.  Jeans and a brown sweater?"

Bella rolled her eyes and was about to say something, but before she could respond, I found myself having a vision.  A flash of... something.  Shelly was there, holding my hand again, and I sort of had... I guess you would call it a vision within a vision.  I saw my mother.  "Just between you and me..." my mother whispered.

I snapped forward, back into the present.  "Bella, where's Nessie?"

"She's out with Jake.  They went for a walk on the beach."  That explained it.  The confusing past/present/future visions would continue as long as my three year old niece wasn't around.  I'd even take a member of the pack of dogs.  

I sauntered over to Shelly, interrupting her conversation with my sister and mother.  "I'm so sorry to be rude, and I certainly don't want you to think that I only want to spend time with you when I need use of your... services, but I just had a vision and I need to know more."

Shelly laughed.  "It's quite alright."  She turned to Rose and Esme.  "Will you excuse us for a few minutes?"  They both nodded and walked toward Emmett and Steve, who were now joined by Carlisle.  

"Shall we sit on the porch for a while?" I asked.

"Sounds good to me," Shelly agreed, tossing back a strand of her orange hair.

"I saw a flash of my mom.  Do you have any control over what you show me... or is it up to me and you're just the conduit?"

"I'm not really sure.  I think the thoughts have to be in your subconscious somewhere, and I just help to clarify them.  As a human, I was a really good listener and often helped people out with advice and finding out what their real motives were.  That make sense?"

I nodded.  I took her hand.  I was ready.  I needed another piece of the puzzle.  I closed my eyes.

My mother rushed upstairs and found me sobbing into my pillow.  "Shhh... it's alright, Mary Alice.  No need for all of these tears.  I love you, my dear.  It's going to be alright.  I just told Mrs. Burson that you had an active imagination, that you were very scared of the bad weather that we sometimes get here, and liked to feel more in control by telling such stories."

I sat up for a moment and wiped the tears from my eyes.  I untied the ribbon from my hair - it had been giving me a headache- and let my black hair fall loosely around my face.  My mother hugged me.  "Come now," she said, taking my hand and leading me back down the stairs. "I invited the Bursons over for dinner tomorrow night to make up for today.  Everything will be fine.  I won't tell a word of it to your father.  Mrs. Burson agreed."

I nodded.  "Thanks, Mama."  I followed her outside and to the flower bed that she had planted on the side of our house.  The white daisies and daylilies that grew were really beautiful.  My mother sat down on the ground and began picking out weeds.  I joined her.  I was surprised to see her pluck out a small yellow flower.  "Why did you do that?"

"It's a dandelion.  It's a weed," she explained matter-of-factly.  It was pretty to me.  I picked it up off the ground and stuck it in my hair.  We continued picking out the weeds for the next few minutes in silence.

"Mary Alice, I don't want you to think that I am ever too harsh on you or that I love you any less than I do.  I'm sorry if I've been a little more curt with you lately.  We've just had so much going on, what with your father's work.  I've been very stressed.  I love you.  You are my special little girl.  You always have been."  She smiled at me, her hazel eyes sparkling.  "I really don't know why you see the things that you do.  Maybe it's a gift from God.  Maybe He has a special job for you with it.  But I know you're a good person.  I know you'll use your gift for good."   She reached in to hug me.  "But for now, can we just try to keep it between you and me?  It's alright that you have these visions, but let's try our best not to talk about them in mixed company, shall we?"  I nodded.  "Not even in front of your father.  You know he doesn't understand it, and it upsets him.  Then there's no peace in the house." She sighed deeply her smile faded.  

"Yes, Mama.  I won't tell anyone else about what it is I see.  Only you... if you want to know.  I don't want to upset you or Father."  I frowned back.  "What's wrong?"  My mother seemed deep in thought, deliberating something.  I saw a quick flash in my mind - my mother's belly growing larger....

"I have something to share with you too, Mary Alice.  Something I haven't told a soul."  She paused.  "Shall we keep this between just the two of us as well, just for now?"  I nodded, already having an idea of what it was.  I smiled.  "You're going to have a little baby brother or sister.  I've known about it for almost three months now, but I haven't told anyone.  Not even your father."

"Really?"  Visions of my mother showing me how to sew clothes for the new baby filled my head.  I would help take care of him or her.  I would love having a little brother or sister so much....

"It's our little secret.  Don't forget.  I'm waiting on the right time to tell Father.  I want him to close the deal with the Bursons first.  He's returning from his business trip in the morning, if all goes according to schedule.  After the dinner with the Bursons, once the deal is set, I will tell him.  If the deal doesn't go through, I'll wait a bit longer."  She rubbed her belly.  "I can't delay much longer, or people will be able to tell."

"I'm really excited to be a big sister.  I'll help you take care of the baby.  I'm so excited." I smiled widely.  "And don't worry, Mama.  For now, it will be our little secret."