Alice: Recovered Memories

Golden eyes

I sat cross legged on the porch, staring into the woods.  "Cynthia.  She was talking about my sister Cynthia."

"You remember your sister?"

I shook my head.  "Not exactly.  I found out about her from digging around in the Harrison County archives when I was on the coast.  She has a daughter who is still alive, though I haven't tried to contact her.  She'd have to be in her eighties by now."  I thought about that.  I really was rather curious to meet her, though I knew I never could.  She could never know about me.  Maybe I could just see her though....I filed that bit of information away for later.  "It feels strange, knowing there's someone out there who is my flesh and blood."

Shelly sighed.  "This has been so hard on me.  I moved across the country to live with my aunt in Bremerton.  My mom died when I was little and my dad remarried and I couldn't stand my step mom.  I'm originally from Fall River, Massachusetts.  I started taking classes part time at Olympic College.  I had only been living here for about a year, when it happened."

I sat closer to her and put my arm around her.  I felt so bad for her.  She'd had family and friends that she'd had to say goodbye to, that she remembered.  I couldn't really relate. 

"A few friends and I had gone out partying in Seattle.  I had a lot to drink and stepped outside to get a breath of fresh air.  Someone knocked me unconscious and took me.  I woke up in an abandoned house a little while later in the worst pain I'd ever been in in my life."  She  shuddered.  "And I ended up like this.  It hurt so bad."  She laughed sardonically.  "I guess I don't have to tell you." She paused.  "Riley taught us about our new life, filled our head with legends about vampires, ones that weren't true.  We saw ourselves as gods and humans like cattle.  They were just food to us.  I felt like that for a little while.  I knew it wasn't right, though.  I still hate the idea of killing people.  It's so wrong, but I didn't know there was another way.  I always try to make it as painless as possible.  And never children.  Never.  I couldn't do that."

I remembered those feelings only too clearly.  I hated being a murderer.  "I tried to only kill people that I felt like deserved it, but I knew that even that was wrong," I admitted.  "It wasn't long before I couldn't handle it anymore.  I was in the woods somewhere in Mississippi when I first spotted a deer and tried the vegetarian lifestyle.  I had already had a vision about meeting the rest of my family, and about the type of life they led.  It was kind of hit and miss at first, but by the time I met Jasper, I was totally devoted to protecting human life.  I helped to teach him to follow in the same path."

"I wouldn't mind giving it a try.  I heard Steve talking to one of your coven about it.  I've never done it before, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to commit.  But I'm always up for a new challenge."

"There are so many benefits, other than the fact that you don't have to live as a murderer.  In this area, since we don't get much sun, we can blend in with humans.  Jasper and I take college classes.  Carlisle is a doctor.  All of us interact with the public.  Bella even still sees her father, though that's been kind of tricky."

"I'd love to see my aunt again.  She and I became close.  It was so hard for her after I went missing.  Late at night, sometimes I'd come back to her house and peek in.  I saw my name in the paper as a missing person.  I found out, by doing some digging myself, that my father held a memorial service back home for me last year.  I'd been missing for about three years at that point."  She stared off into space. 

I sprang up.  "Let's go tell the guys.  Let's go hunting.  I just went, but I can go again!  It's so much fun.  You're going to love it."  I grabbed her by the hand and towed her back into the house. 

"I still don't believe you.  An eight hundred pound grizzly?" Steve laughed and Emmett shrugged.

"I swear, dude.  Didn't leave a scratch." He grinned.  "Spring is the best time for them.  They're coming out of hibernation.  There's more of a sport to hunting animals than hunting humans.  Besides, you're supposed to be a tracker...."

"Quit trash talking our new friends.  Shelly wants to go hunting with us.  You guys think you can keep up?" I raised my eyebrows at him. 

Emmett guffawed and punched my arm.  "Bring it!"  He, Steve, Shelly and I dashed out the back door and through the trees.  I jumped gracefully over the river, throwing a twirl in as I landed.  Shelly laughed at me.  We ran up into the hills.  I knew I'd been lucky to find that bear.  We'd probably have to settle for deer this time.  I found one quickly and sprang.

Following my lead, Shelly grabbed one as well, while the guys kept running, off to find bigger game.  She wrinkled her nose as the taste. 

I laughed.  "It does take some getting used to.  Personally, deer is not my favorite.  Next time, we'll try to find you some mountain lion or a bear."

She dropped her kill.  "It's not as bad as I thought it would be.  And I'm not as thirsty as I was, so that's good.  Will my eyes turn golden if I stick to this long enough?"

I nodded.  "It takes a few weeks, though.  And no cheating or they won't change.  They still turn black when you're thirsty."

"I miss my green eyes.  Yellow would be a little more flattering than red, though."

"I bet you would look fantastic in green.  In fact, I can snag you some green contacts and we can go shopping sometime, if you'd like.  Of course, it can't be anywhere around here, or people would recognize you.  Maybe somewhere in Canada.  Eastern Canada.  I haven't been to Montreal in a while.  Of course, you may have to avoid humans for a while and hunt only animals.  I'm not sure how well you'd do in a crowd like that.  It takes practice." 

Shelly laughed as I went off into one of my manic rants.  "I really want to give this a chance.  I was a bit of a hippie chick in my human life.  I was all about animal's rights.  That was kind of hard for me, but it was way easier than having to kill an innocent human."

"Look at it this way - we're culling the animal population.  We mostly hunt deer.  They overpopulate easily in this area.  When that happens, it affects the environment.  Also, as vampires we can kill quickly without causing a lot of suffering.  They barely know what hit them."

"I know.  It's just still... hard.  But I'll get used to it.  I want to get used to it, anyway.  I want to get back as much of my humanity as I can."

"Does Steve feel the same way?  Are you guys very serious?"

"I think he does.  He loves tracking for the pure sport of it, but hates the actual act.  We've been together for almost four years now.  I think he's the one." 

At that time, I heard Emmett cry out in victory.  He must have found a mountain lion or bear.  I laughed.  "Emmett is so competitive.  He's like the older brother I never had." 

I suddenly saw a flash of the future - Shelly and Steve with golden eyes.  Maybe this was meant to be.  "Shelly, I'd have to talk to the rest of my family first, but how would you feel about staying with us for a little while?"

Her eyes lit up.  "Really?"  I nodded.  "That would be great!  I'd love to get a change of clothes and get cleaned up.  I'd love to get to meet the rest of your family.  Do you think they'd mind having us around?"

I scanned the immediate future.  I didn't see any problems.  "The outlook looks very positive."  I grabbed her by the hand.  "There's only one way to find out for sure."  We made our way back to the house.