Drowning // KIANI ff { completed }

Chapter 1: it was a mistake

( hey guys, welcome to my first ff on this account! My name is Abi and my first story is KIANI XD! Hope you guys enjoy this first chapter )

It was a mistake. A big mistake. At the time it felt right, but now he is all that's in my mind. I thought I could let go- I guess I was wrong.

-+=+- will's p.o.v -+=+-
" forget about him, will, " I thought to myself as I ran into my bathroom. " forget, forget, forget " with each whimper of words, came another quick slice across his fragile arm. " WHY CANT YOU JUST FORGET, YOU IDIOT, " he stuttered. To finish the job, will slowly engraved one last long line across his bloody arm, remembering the soon- to- be scar he would have to cover up tomorrow for school. Once he put away his razor, he leaned over the basin and stared at the horror in the mirror.
Something clicked inside him which led him to have a sudden outburst in tears leaving a puddle of blood and tears collecting up in the middle of the white basin below him. He didn't care. He always thought he deserved every inch of pain he caused himself. He didn't deserve this life he lived- an amazing and supportive family, incredible friends, Jordan. Well, he didn't actually have Jordan, he had Jordan. But he is a distant memory now. After what happened, I doubt Jordan would even be able to look at him. He felt like a disappointment.

-+=+- Jordan's p.o.v -+=+-
" why me? What did I do to deserve this pain? I thought I was doing the right thing. I guess I will never be happy. " Jordan muttered gloomily to the mirror as if it was going to talk back and help him through his pain. His pain was nothing anyone could do anything about apart from himself. Jordan was the only one who could relieve him from his hell he is living in. He just didn't know it yet.
"Jordan honey, come down for tea. You haven't eaten in days. I'm getting worried about you. We are all getting worried about you. "
" I'm fine, " Jordan moaned.
" is it will, again? " his mother stared at the cooker waiting for a response, knowing there wouldn't be one. She already knew the answer. She just wanted to see if he could admit it was will, for example the incident, he couldn't even mention the name will without bursting out in tears and running to the toilet to lock himself in. Sometimes, if he felt extremely depressed, he would try make himself throw up his to get rid of anything in his stomach.
Jordan hated his body. Everything about it- his size, has face, the way his veins show when he stretches too much, how his hair looks when he doesn't do anything to it, just overall, him. On occasions, Jordan tried cutting some of the veins showing and was quickly rushed to hospital once he was found unconscious in his en-suite floor surrounded by blood and a used knife.

-+=+- will's p.o.v -+=+-
I feel alone in this world. Useless. A waste of space. My only use was my channel and occasional tweets or instgram posts. I would sometimes imagine what people would say if they heard I killed myself. Would they even care? I doubt it. I really want to but I promised my dad I would stay alive until he came back from war. He was the only person in this world who kept me going. Well, since my Mum abandoned me at birth. Dad was there for me, through everything, and he was very accepting over everything. I love my dad. He doesn't have to know it was suicide. No, I can't give up on him. Not this early. Better check Twitter- clear my mind.

-+=+- Jordan's p.o.v -+=+-
Time for the daily depressing/ inspirational quote everyone thinks is so deep and meaningful. It's just how I am feeling, what I am thinking at that moment. For instance, yesterday's quote: what's the point in trying to stand up when the only people left to help you up are the people who knocked you down? Everyone just assumed I find them off the Internet or something. Ha, nope. All out of my own twisted head. Today, I have actually felt OK I guess. I might post something nice this time. ( tweeting out: just because you can't see the end of the rainbow, doesn't mean it's not there. ) Yh, sounds good. God, I miss him so much. It's not like he feels the same way anyway, so why should I care?