For You, Rare Bird

KILL HER

Chapter One- Kill Her

"Kill her." Jude had growled defensively under her breath, clutching her fist with a frenzied desperation.

Timothy looked back on Jude's declaration with a frantic mind and a heavy heart. At very first he'd been shocked, not just by her words, but by the sheer intensity behind them. He'd always known that she was more than just his rare bird. It was why he had made her head of Briarcliff. She was smart, passionate and possessed an aggressive streak she'd never shown to him, but he always knew was there.

Timothy couldn't stop thinking about that crazed look in her eye when she'd said it. It was jealous, desperate and vengeful and he knew in an instant that she would do the deed herself if given half the chance. Given her deteriorated state he wouldn't blame her. It had been Mary Eunice, or rather the Devil in Mary Eunice that had taken her down to this level: the level of a madwoman. Still, for a few moments, he was floored by what she'd said. Such hate pooled in her eyes when she'd suggested he kill another living soul. But within just a few seconds, he'd come to realize that it wasn't really too harsh of a solution: it was their only solution.

"Oh Jude if it were only that easy." Timothy whispered to himself, he looked over his injured hands and wrists has he walked down the stairs, making his way toward the common room.

It was strange wandering about the halls of the institution alongside all the patients. It made part of him afraid that he'd be sucked in and stuck there forever...like Jude now was. Timothy paused when he entered the common room, standing under the door and watching the myriad of events that were taking place. Several patients ran around yelling and chasing one another, while several others sat playing various games, Pepper, for example, was in the corner with some of the others, playing Candyland. Next Timothy's gaze fell upon the lone couch in the room.

"Jude?" He asked, his concern for her piqued as he rushed over to her.

She was slumped to the side and seemed half conscious. When he reached her side he began to call for a guard to take her to her room but stopped realizing that because of Mary Eunice and her wishes; she'd get no care. Instead he sat next to her and took her into his embrace. He looked her over carefully, surveying the fresh burns running all around her head. He reached up to touch one of them and she winced trying to pull away. It was clear she'd just undergone another round of electroshock therapy, at the behest of Mary Eunice and of course, Doctor Arden was all too happy to assist. Jude was weak and barely present with him. She fell back into Timothy's arms and stared up at him from her place on his lap. He studied her eyes for a moment, wondering how present she was inside; her eyes were cloudy and simply stared rather than observed.

"What have they done to you my rare bird?" He inquired, running his finger along the side of her chin.

Jude understood and didn't say a word; instead tears just began to run down her cheeks. She closed her eyes tightly, wanting to shut out the pain. His renewed interest in her hurt perhaps more than his betrayal and the physical pain combined because she knew it was fleeting and she couldn't bare the thought of being abandoned by him again. Timothy paused, just holding her for a moment, no one in the room noticing him sitting there, cradling the hated former nun in his arms.

Over the past day, Jude's declaration and her newfound state as a madwoman had settled in his mind and began to rattle him to the core. While he'd watched Mary and Arden take her down, he hadn't really noticed how much this place had changed her and how she was close to becoming subhuman now, his rare bird seeming more to him like a rabid dog.

"She violated me Jude. My virtue, she took it from me." He'd said, in the kitchen the day before, finding the utmost comfort in taking her hand.

He had looked up at her, for the first time seeing the pain in her still clear brown eyes when he told her this. Yesterday she'd been angry, determined, and barely able to speak but still present with him. Timothy looked back, realizing he had been focused on himself and how violated and ashamed he felt about what Mary had done to him...what he'd failed to realize in the kitchen was that she was being tortured.

Looking into Jude's eyes now that she lye weak in his arms made him feel the part of a heartbroken fool. He'd known for a long time that Jude had feelings for him. This was evident in everything she did for him, from the dinners, to her unwavering support for everything he desired and believed in. Yet somehow it was all more evident now than ever, with her lying on his lap, near catatonic and half dead.

"I couldn't kill her Jude." He whispered, beginning to run his fingers through her long blonde hair. She whimpered at his touch and tried to pull away, but timothy held her there. "My God what are they doing to you?" He asked himself.

The physical evidence of her misery was an immense shock to him now. He couldn't believe what he'd been watching and ignoring all this time. He could feel that she was weak. He held the whole weight of her in his arms now, her head in his hands and her body on his lap. She'd gone totally limp in his embrace and while he'd never held her like this before, it was obvious to him that she had lost weight.

"Oh Jude...I couldn't kill her, it is surely God that prevented her from killing me just now...what are they doing to you?" He asked again, deciding not to inform her that a small segment of her blonde hair was now soaked in blood.

Timothy knew he'd be leaving the asylum in a matter of days and going back to the convent where he lived; even then, he wondered how he would deal with the reckless Mary Eunice. Truthfully, he didn't want future dealings with her. He feared that if he went to other priests and nuns about her; they'd deem him crazy too and like Jude he'd be thrown into Briarcliff and locked away. He knew that was likely Mary's plan for him no matter what he said or did.

Timothy looked down at Jude again, surprised when she tried to mumble something. She grabbed his forearm and squeezed it, shutting her eyes. It hurt him so much to see her in pain. After yesterday he wondered how he'd been so blind all this time. He'd trusted the Devil, and his own naked ambition, ignoring the fact that a good woman had loved him for years now. This was the woman who wanted to give the world to him or at least, help him win it. He felt so ashamed that he hadn't realized till now, that he was her whole world.

"Jude, I'm so sorry I couldn't kill her. I-I know you said that was our only solution." He whispered so that no one but her could possibly hear. "But there is one more thing we could try you and I together..."

He gulped, not sure if he was ready to make this kind of commitment. But he had to; after all, she'd been so committed to him for so long. The idea had occurred to him the moment he'd failed to kill Mary. It really was the only solution they had. He was nervous and sort of indecisive about it, but he knew he owed it to Jude. If he didn't take this step they would kill her and he couldn't live with that.

"It's true that I couldn't kill her...but I refuse to let you down or leave you behind, my rare bird...I'm fleeing this place tonight. I'm going to disappear forever and leave the church. And I'm taking you with me."