Daughter of the Legend: Soul on Fire (#Wattys2018)

Chapter Ten: Heart to Heart

SPOILER ALERT: Stuff about season 6 end and season 7 start

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"Dammit Cas, heal her!"

"No Dean." Castiel replied stone-faced. This argument had been going on for an hour now. I rolled my eyes and looked towards the kitchen where Sam, Cassidy, and Krissy were doing a puzzle, of all things. Cassidy happened to look up and make eye contact. I scrunched my face and motioned towards my father and Cas as they argued...well as Dean argued...

"Dean, it's fine! I'm fine!" I stated returning to the argument.

"No it's not! He can heal you and he's not doing it!" Dean snapped turning to me.

"Dea-"

"It's your job!" He stated to the angel.

"Dean-"

"You're supposed to be watching over her, when I can't-"

"Dean!" I shouted, silencing my father, getting alarmed glances from the kitchen. "I. Am. Fine. They're just burns, I will seriously heal in a day or two. It's not a big deal. Besides...I...I broke the rule. That's the reason Cas won't heal me..." I felt Cas's eyes on me, but I wouldn't break my gaze from my hands.

"Rule? What rules?" My father asked, still in a sharp tone.

"Of our training." stated Castiel, "Rachel was given guidelines. Strict instructions of what was allowed and not allowed. The consequences of her actions, if they went against my directions, would be hers to manage on her own." Dean went to interject, but Cas cut him off, "Unless her life was in danger." Cas looked at me pointedly, "She killed someone with her ability. Not a monster, an idiot no less, but still a human. It's the second rule."

"I don't want to be healed anyways. " I said softly. It serves as a good reminder of what I cannot let myself become, I thought to myself. Dean frowned but didn't reply. Begrudgingly he left the study, storming out of the house, slamming the back door behind him. I'd be lying if I said I didn't jump at the bang.

Loud noises had become a trigger. It would send my heart thundering, senses heightened, occasionally flashbacks...Krissy said it was PTSD, but it felt like just another messed up side effect of my affliction.

Rubbing my thumb over my bandaged hands, I stood and went to leave the room.

"Rachel..." Cas's voice stopped me, his expression was guilty but firm. "I am sorry."

"It's not your fault Cas. I know the rules and I broke them."

"Yes, but-"

"Castiel. It's fine." I stated firmly, before turning and climbing the stairs.

My knees ached with each step. God, I'm getting old... When I got to my room, clicked my door shut, grabbed my Ipod and kicked on my Indie Folk playlist. Yeah, it was very different from the Winchester standard, but honestly, it calmed me down and I liked the style. City and Color pulled onto the screen and I reached into my backpack for my laptop.

Kicking off my boots, I opened the laptop. I clicked on my digital journal. I hadn't wrote in so long...I stared blankly at the white page and blinking black cursor before me. My mind was too busy to be empty, but writer's block always knows when to strike.

Leaning my head back against my headboard, I tried to think of what to write. What to say. My fingers hovered over the keys. Slowly, I began to write.

Sept. 13

Rachel

It's been a year. Well...I guess more like two years in my life...but only one year in my reality...?