The Little Book Of 'Girls Stuff'

Losing your Virginity for girls

LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY: ADVICE FOR GIRLS

Losing your virginity is big deal, no matter what anyone else says. It's the first time you fully give your body to someone else, and accept theirs as your own. Physically, it's the most you can give to someone else. It's a rite of passage that shouldn't be played down in any situation.

Are you ready?

No one will know that apart from you. You might have had your first kiss on the same day as your friends, first periods around the same time, gotten drunk together on the same night but unfortunately, the only person who's going to be experiencing this is you. It's hard but while your friends might be great and recalling their own experiences, they don't know you or your body like you do.

You might think you're ready, and when it comes to the point where you actually have to go through with it, you know in your stomach that you're just not. Similarly, you might not think you're ready and there comes a moment where you feel so comfortable and close with the person you're with that if feels right. The important thing is listening to yourself, your body and how you feel. No one can ever be 100% sure of anything they've never experienced before, but you have to trust your gut at some stage.

You're not ready if...

You think you need to check it off your list

It's something you just want to get out of the way

You don't really like the person you're considering doing it with

You're the last one out of your friends not to have done it so you're in a hurry

Your boyfriend/girlfriend is putting pressure on you in any way

At the end of the day, it would be great if we all had perfect first time experiences, but the majority of people don't. Unfortunately it won't always be the fairytale with candles and rose petals and a responsible conversation so here's a few practical bits of information if and when it does go down...

Be smart about birth control

Any woman who's ever had sex will know that aching feeling you have in the pit of your stomach when you think you're pregnant. All logic and reason goes out the door and all of a sudden everyone around you is pregnant and all you can think of is sitting in a rocking chair breast feeding with your hair in curlers (why, I don't know)

Go to the doc or see the free clinic in college and look at your options. The pill, the injection, the patch - it's all here ladies, no excuses.

It might not work

In fact, it more than likely won't. You will be nervous and you will probably tense up a bit which will make it close to impossible for anything to penetrate. Take it slowwwww and include plenty of foreplay to get you ready.

You might bleed

"Well like, apparently if you did gymnastics as a kid, your hymen will be broken so you're grand" - yeah, we've all heard this. Some girls bleed, some don't. Don't be embarrassed, if they know it's your first time (which they bloody well should), then it's to be expected.

Being drunk might not be the best idea

So you might think it will hurt less, which could be true, but it will also numb everything. You want to be able to remember and be sober enough to know exactly what your doing. At the end of the day, alcohol impairs your judgement, and you don't want to regret anything.

Get some lube

Proper stuff, not Vaseline or Olive Oil (Oh yes, we've all heard stories)

It's not all about you

There's a good chance whoever you're with will be nervous too. If it's their first time, be sensitive to that - it's scary for all involved.

It's never too late to say no.

Even it's already started and they seem really into it, if you're not comfortable and you get cold feet, do not keep going for their sake.