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Award shows aren't really my thing. Yet, some-fucking-how, I'm always the one that gets handed the mic in interviews, on stage, or on the red carpet. Apparently everyone thinks I'm the public speaker of the band. That should be Chris' job but he usually diverts things directly to me. I don't get nervous to speak. I just get irritated easily.
Another reason I don't like award shows? Five hours of sitting at the same table surrounded by bands that judge us and getting up on a stage where their fans judge us. We are the black sheep of our scene and we're very aware of that. There's plenty of guys in makeup around through. It's not that that gets us the looks. I hate to admit it, but it's Ghost.
He means the fucking world to me and I embrace his life decisions. We all do. Most people don't though. A guy in a dress with dreads, a grill, and bondage gear on is a bit of a strange thing to see. And what do people do when they don't understand something? They judge it. They hate it. Ghost looked fucking gorgeous tonight but we all were under the understanding that we would be protecting him a lot. We urged him to dress this way so he can get more confident with it.
Vinny posted a picture of us before we left the hotel. It was us secretly testing the waters to see how the night would go. Of course our fans were positive. There's always a few shitheads but he just deletes those comments. While we were sitting in the limo, I saw Ghost on his phone. He looked upset and regretful. Oh, Baby, please don't let them shut you out from who you are once again. I glanced down at his phone and saw him looking at Instagram comments.
"Sweetie," I whispered as I took his phone from him, "Please don't pay attention to their shit, okay? The only person that has permission to make you feel like shit is you."
Ghost wrapped his arms around himself. He scrunched his face and muttered, "Did you just reference The Princess Diaries?"
When I realized it, I made a face of... not shock, but a "I'm a fucking weird idiot" face. It made Ghost laugh through his sadness and that's all I could ask for. If I make myself look like a fucking idiot by paraphrasing a Hector Elizondo quote from a goddamn Anne Hathaway movie, then fuck it.
"I did, but hey it's true and I got you to smile." I said, "You should smile more."
He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't have a reason a lot of the time."
"You seem to smile a lot when you're around Ricky." Balz spoke, leaned back in his seat so nonchalantly. He gave me a sly look like the little shit he is.
Ghost would be blushing if he didn't have five layers of makeup to cover it up. "I do" He murmured happily, "Yeah, I guess I do."
Bashfully, I smiled like I was in fucking high school. He gives me that teenage dream type of love. Did I just reference Katy Perry in my own head? Oh, I'm on a roll today. At least I've managed to keep a positive attitude thus far. We felt the limo stop at the venue. Someone opened our door. Ryan was the first to step out, being closest to the door. The rest of us followed, being met by the bright sun and screaming of fans.
