The Boy Next Door > jariana (ON HOLD)

fourteen

The delights of the day ended twisted and strained. Justin was unusually quiet, and by that I mean mute, stuck in an agitated flux of grabbing the back of his neck. I don't think he even realized he didn't say one word the entire drive home. He played with the radio like it was a lifeline. I was caught up in my own vacuum of mental activity: Pattie and Notting.

I reached over and rubbed Justin's thigh as we parked in front of his home. He took my hand; still no words. As we walked through the door, he stopped and stared at me with slumped shoulders, shaking his head.

"Dump's really sick. They think it might be Mono or something."

"Who told you?"

"Bobby. Bobby was at Dump and Sienna's place." He sighed heavily and took off his scarf and coat, tossing it towards the sofa. It landed on the floor and he just stared at it. His mind was elsewhere.

I walked over and picked it up, glancing back at him. "What is it? There's more?"

"Bobby said that Dump's not been feeling well for a while, and wants to go back to New York if he doesn't feel better in a few days. We'll need to find a fill in for this next tour if that's the case."

My insides went cold, like I was a Grim Reaper. I felt as if I was always casting black veils over everyone in Justin's life. Back then and now. Like nothing ever went right when I was around. Would he see it that way? Anxiety rose inside of me.

"I'm sorry." I was dejected, and folded my gloved hands together.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that this is all going down while you're here." Justin trudged toward the fireplace. "It's fucking freezing in here."

I'd not noticed. I was still wearing my coat, hat and scarf. I took off my gloves and walked to the wall thermostat, turning the heat on. Justin got the fire crackling and turned on music. I peeled off my coat and glanced at him. He was watching me with adoring eyes. A smile peeped at the sides of his mouth, easing a bit of the tension running through me.

"I feel bad." What else was I gonna say?

"Me too. I feel bad because at first I was happy that he was sick so I could spend more time with you, now he's really sick, and I feel like a dick." He hung his head as he sat down. I walked over sitting on the sofa next to him. He grabbed my knee as if to get my attention. "Maybe we should just all go back now." Trouble painted his face as he lay back, resting his head on the sofa's arm. I scooted in closer, pulling at his legs for him to rest them over my thighs. "I know Dump's gonna leave. Bobby said Sienna wants to go back and get him well. I can't fight with that. He'll listen to her."

"What will you do?"

"I'll have to meet with Notting tomorrow. I can't let this sit. I'm sorry."

Disappointment filled me, but I understood. "It's okay."

"How was it with Pattie? I didn't mean to leave you sitting there for so long."

Zing.

I hedged and shrugged. Not wanting to divulge anything. "It was actually nice."

"What? She didn't give you the 3rd degree?" He laughed cynically. "I'm sorry." He sat up, throwing his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him.

"Don't be sorry, geez." I gave him a reassuring peck on the cheek.

"I guess it's good that Notting's arriving soon, since this Dump thing's going down."

***

I never expected to be hanging out with Pattie the day before I was to leave, but there I was, standing in the oldest church in London, at The Hallows by the Tower with Pattie. It was founded in 675AD, and with all of its history the thing I found most interesting was that our sixth president of the United States, John Quincy Adams, was married there in 1797.