cartoon roast book. ←

courage the cowardly dog. ←

only a matter of time.

i remember the first time i watched this show, it was funny asf no lie. but i always used to wonder about the title. who the fuck names they're dog courage if he's a coward. so you know me in my head i was like, "nah he ain't no coward, he finna fuck some shit up." i was so disappointed at the end thanks to his dumb ass owners. i then realized that courage was a SCARY ASS LIL BITCH. who the fuck names they're dog courage if lil nigga afraid to pee outside in the daytime, thinkin' a bee gonna sting his balls or some shit. why his nose look like he got stuck in the toilet and muriel shit on his face by accident ? why his hands and feet look like they shootin' the bird at everybody or a upside down cross? is this nigga on some demonic shit? why his eyes overlappin' his forehead ? why this nigga teeth look like he ain't brushed his teeth or stepped into a vet in decades ? why his tongue look like eustace shit in his mouth on purpose ? why his eyebrows not even on his face ? why he look like he ain't bathe in years ? illustrator did not give a fuck when he was drawin' this nigga right here, "finna make this nigga look like my ballsack."

wait wait wait 😂, why courage look like he takin' a big ass dookie on muriel face ?

this nigga was miserable as fuck, that's how you know muriel wasn't givin' him no pussy. this nigga got ramen noodles for arms and knives for fingers. his feet long as fuck to, you could be standin' 500 feet away from this nigga and still trip over them long ass feet. them buttons on that overall look like burnt nipples. the way inside his mouth look, look like he been eatin' horse booty and you know the horses don't wash they ass. what the fuck is up with that hat ? look like he took a shoppin' trip to the dump with what the fuck he got on. his ears look like lays potato chips. "stupid dog, you make me look bad." head ass, nigga you already do lookin' like wrinkly balls. nigga got some pointy ass knees, could kill a bitch with those. last but not least, that boomerang he got fo' a head. why his neck so small but his head so big ? "lemme make this old fucker look like that super hero nigga from fairly odd parents on drugs."

muriel could get it, with them big ass garbage bags on her feet. they live in the dessert and this bitch still wearin' rain boots, bitch it don't rain that much. always got that apron on but what she be cookin' tho? eustace probably be suffocatin' when she ride his ass then collapse on him. pussy probably fat tho (;. with that long ass chin and fucked up jerry curls. "lemme make this old fucker a thick bitch so he won't be so miserable."

if i was courage, i would find me some new owners.
because them motha'fuckers ain't it.