The Years of Riddle

Chapter Twenty-Six | Lewes, New Years 1960

Chapter Twenty-Six

Lewes, New Years 1960

         The New Year was almost upon them, and Anthony was gently caring for Gwyn. The old friends were curled up together, looking over photo albums of their years together.

"There's Silas, just after he came home." Anthony pointed out a black and white shot of their son, swaddled and sleepy, rosebud mouth open in a wide yawn.

"He was the prettiest baby, they both were." Gwyn glanced at the clock. "Could you open the windows, Anthony?"

"I don't know, its quite cold out..." he looked at her sceptically.

"Please. I just want to feel the fresh air on my skin."

He couldn't say no to her, and moved to open the windows. Gwyn looked so small sitting up in bed, pale and incredibly thin; her hair had lost its shine, her eyes appeared dull even when she laughed. In her hands she held the small vial of water Silas had brought her – from the Black Lake, a mystery he wasn't interested in solving. Silas had always been afraid of deep water.

Anthony sat down beside her, pulling another quilt over her legs. "Do you need anything?"

"Not a thing." She took his hand in hers, tried to convey all her thoughts in the small gesture. "Thank you for looking after me, Anthony – for all these years."

"Don't talk like that, as if you gave me nothing." He rubbed gentle circles atop her hand. "You gave me two beautiful children, a life I thought I could never have."

"Promise me that when I'm gone," she began slowly, since Anthony rarely wanted to hear such things. "You will find love, with a man – the man you've always wanted. Soon, I hope, it will be more acceptable. I don't want you to be alone."

Anthony closed his eyes briefly. "You were supposed to be here," his voice was rough, choked. "To help me raise Silas and Violet, to sit with me on our porch in summer evenings, to babysit the grandkids. I wanted that, with you. It's the closest I'll ever get."

"I don't believe that for a minute." She hated the idea that Anthony would live the rest of his life alone. "We have had a wonderful time together, but we can never love each other romantically – it doesn't upset me. You are my best friend, and I want you to be happy."

He wanted to say that it would be very hard to be happy with her gone, with Silas and Violet a constant reminder of what once was. However, all Anthony had ever wanted was for her to be comfortable, to be happy – so he said yes. "I will try."

"Thank you," Gwyn smiled and lay back. "Happy New Year, Anthony. I love you."

"Happy New Year, Gwyn." Anthony watched her quietly fall asleep. "I love you, too." He tucked her in a little, left the room, unable to hold back his tears. The window stayed open.

~*~

Silas crept through the shadows, passing his father passed out in his study, into his parent's bedroom. Gwyn lay, awake and looking out the window. There was a moon, not quite half full, hanging low in the sky.

"Do you want me to close the window for you, Mamma?"

Turning her head, she shook it slightly, barely moving. "Come watch the moon and stars with me, Sy. It's so pretty."

The room was cold, but under the blankets it was warm. Cuddled up next to Gwyn, Silas felt small again. "Will you miss the sky, Mamma?"

"I will miss many things, including the sky, and the feeling of a breeze on my skin – how you and Vi look when you wake up in the morning." Gwyn swallowed, closing her eyes briefly, trying not to cry. "I will miss how Papa sings in the shower and the way he always reads me the funny bits in the paper. I will miss the smell of old books, and finding sea shells on the beach, and Nana Pauline's cooking, and Pops' croaky singing." She laughed lowly, running her fingers through his hair.

"What about being my Ma?" Silas asked quietly.

"I will always be your Ma." Gwyn hugged him tightly. "Even when you are an old man, with grandkids and a cane and making terrible jokes."

Silas let out a little sob and clung to her. "Don't go." He begged.

"I'm trying Sy, I really am, I promise." She kept her eyes on the moon. "Can you promise me something, too?"

Silas nodded, looking up at what was left of his mother.

"Look after Papa and Violet. Make sure Papa isn't alone, and that Violet finds a nice person to love and look after her, no one mean spirited or selfish."

"I'll try," Silas thought it sounded like an awful lot, but he would try until it happened. He would do whatever would make Gwyn happy.

Gwyn closed her eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks. "There may be a time when you will doubt everything I have told you," she whispered, so softly that Silas almost didn't hear. "But I swear, everything I did, everything I told you, was to make life as easy and wonderful, as full of magic, as possible. Do you understand, Silas?"

"I think so."

"Good." Gwyn was suddenly too tired to even open her eyes, and let out a deep sigh. "You are everything to me." She whispered. "And I love you, and Violet. Don't forget that, or let her forget either."

"I won't." Silas rubbed his eyes, trying to focus. This was important, he just knew it. "I love you too, Mamma. I'll look after Violet, I promise." Gwyn could only nod, squeeze his hand weakly.

With the cool breeze blowing in, the moon hanging heavy in the sky, Gwyn's heart slowed. Silas was asleep, and though she wasn't, her eyelids were too heavy to lift, her limbs felt as if they were made of stone.

And then it was over. She felt light; nothing seemed to hurt – the gentle weight of Silas' body the only reminder of where she was.

Quietly, Gwyn slipped away. She grew cold under her son's embrace, sound in the knowledge that he understood, at least a little, of what she had done for him. She had only ever tried to make him happy, to keep him safe. To show him love.

~*~

Silas knew his mother was gone before he opened his eyes. She was a little cold, a bit stiff. Tenderly, he slipped out from her hold and checked her pulse. Gwyn was gone.

He closed the windows and returned to his room, where he took out a roll of parchment and a quill. Slowly, he wrote down everything he could remember about Gwyn from before she was really sick, everything she said she would miss – the promises he had made. He refused to forget.

With the dawn, Violet and Anthony came to his room. "You're awake." Said Anthony with surprise.

Silas turned to them, nodding. He knew by their faces that they had found Gwyn. Anthony could tell that Silas already knew, and he kneeled, opening his arms. Falling into them, Silas finally felt as if he could cry. The little family held each other, wondering how they would heal. 

Slowly though, they would heal, and though it would never be the same, the world would regain its colour. It would take time, but they would be able to love the things Gwyn would miss, and she would never be forgotten. No, not the girl who had loved Tom Riddle – there was so much to be remembered. 

A/N: Well. I have made myself very, very sad. I do love Gwyn, and I will miss her. She was such a brave, genuine, plucky character. 

Question: What will you miss about Gwyn? I think I will miss how much she loved magic, and her dedication to Silas having what she always dreamed. Man. She was just so...so wonderful.

I'm sorry if this makes you sad. 

As for what is to come - more Silas. We will be following him, sorry if that is not what you were expecting. Don't worry though, we will see Gwyn one last time, at some point.

Rose