The Years of Riddle

Chapter Forty-Seven | Ottery St. Catchpole, New Years 1979

Chapter Forty-Seven

Ottery St. Catchpole, New Years 1979

          A gentle snowfall covered Ottery St. Catchpole, where Magic and Muggle folk alike were celebrating the New Year. In the Fawley-Lacroix home, a party was in full swing. The kitchen table was nearly sagging with goodies to eat, there wasn't a child without a smile, and even the war wasn't weighing as heavily on their shoulders as usual.

Silas had been surprised but delighted when his young team had accepted his invitation to spend the evening with his family. The Weasley's were over as well, Violet and her family, and Anthony and Hal –everyone got along splendidly. The young folk were good company for the children, and brightened the atmosphere for the (only mildly) older.

Standing in the archway between the kitchen and dining room, Silas watched the lively group of people he had filled his life with. Molly and Arthur were as sweet on each other as they had been at Hogwarts, the eleven rambunctious children were tireless, and Anthony was happier than Silas could ever remember seeing him. Violet was a mother now; finally having realized Ogden Wood was in love with her. She'd had the 'epiphany of a life time' as she liked to call it, when she noticed she indeed loved her best friend back. She had two children, Oliver and Hailey, aged five and two, and was unbelievable happy. Silas wished Gwyn were around to see it all.

Slipping away for a moment, Silas stepped out into the snow. Taking deep breaths, he remembered his mother, as he often did. Gwyn had always loved snow.

He wasn't alone for long though, as James joined him. "Am I bothering you?" he asked nervously.

Shaking his head, Silas made room for James on the stoop. "Not at all." He watched James shuffle in the snow, take his out of his pockets, stuff them back in. Sigh a bit. "James, is something troubling you?"

James gave him a sideways glance. "I..." he let out a deep sigh. "You see, its so wonderful and so troubling at the same time."

"I see." Silas did not see.

"Can you keep a secret?"

He nodded. "Very well. Better than most."

James looked up at the sky, white with snow. Not a star in sight. "Lily's pregnant."

"Oh." Silas nodded again. He understood now. "That's wonderful James, congratulations to you both."

"Thank you, and see, it is wonderful – but –" he sighed again, gripped his hair in his hands. His glasses were streaked with snow, but he didn't seem to notice. "I'm fucking terrified Silas. I'm twenty years old, we're fighting a war – and I'm so fucking happy."

"The day Inesa told me she was pregnant," said Silas slowly, "I had been dealing with the murders of Muggles all day. It was the start of this very same war; I was twenty-three, and I did not feel like an adult, or that I was succeeding. And then you learn that in just a few months, there will be another human that has never existed before, and it will be half you – and the entire axis of the world shifts." He smiled, and looked over his shoulder, through the window; he could just see Estelle enthusiastically telling Sirius Black a story that involved a lot of hand motions. "Nothing will ever be the same, and some days you will wish it was, but in the end – nothing beats holding your child in your arms, nothing at all."

James was watching Silas, fear etched in his features. "What about the war?"

"The war will continue, until it ends." He gripped James' shoulder, mouth set in a grim line. "You now have a reason to fight that you didn't before, for that baby Lily is carrying."

"I would rather just be a dad," said James quietly, "then be someone's hero."

Silas was shaken, suddenly he was in his kitchen eight years ago, holding a baby Estelle, and Dumbledore was asking him to join the Order. "I wanted the same." He said slowly. "And it is your choice whether you continue to fight or not, and there is no right choice, no shame in whichever you choose."

"You chose to fight."

"I did."

"Why?"

"I wanted a safe world for my daughter to grow up in." Silas let go of James' shoulder, looked at his watch. It was nearly midnight. "We should go in, wouldn't want to miss kissing our wives at midnight." He chuckled, reached for the door.

"Silas?"

"Hm?" he turned to look at James, so young.

"Thank you." James appeared terrified, but reassured.

"You'll be okay, James." Said Silas. "And a wonderful father."

James nodded, and they headed inside. Half the children were asleep, baby Ivy on Lily's chest. She stayed there during the countdown, her breath even and slow. She didn't wake up when James leaned over to kiss Lily at midnight, nor when Lily moved into the kitchen to get some water. Silas followed her in, and together they sipped water and watched James play with a still energetic Estelle and Bill.

"He'll make a very good father." Said Silas finally.

Lily blushed. "He told you, huh? James was never good at keeping happy secrets."

Silas chuckled. "Yeah, he could hardly keep it in."

"He's scared, we both are." She looked at him. "Are you disappointed?"

"Disappointed?" he frowned, brow furrowing. "Why on earth would I be disappointed?"

"Technically, I'm working for you, and now..." she gestured to her stomach. "I can't exactly go on raids."

"I'm not disappointed at all, I'm very happy for you both." He gave her a sideways hug. "Besides, you can still strategize from home! You're not leaving us fully just yet, Mrs. Potter."

Lily smiled, relieved. "Thank you Silas, that means a lot coming from you."

"Go sit with your husband," he chuckled, "And keep my baby if you want, she's very happy sleeping on your shoulder."

Lily blushed again. "Its good practice, she's very sweet."

"Tell me that when she's screaming at three in the morning." Silas laughed, and Lily went to sit beside James. Three-year-old Orson toddled over to Silas, raising his arms.

Silas picked up his son, holding him close. This, a room full of people he loved, holding a warm, sleepy toddler, celebrating new life – this is why they continued to fight. As long as Silas had people to love, toddlers to hold, and babies to welcome into the world, he would never stop trying to make the world safe again. 

A/N: Sorry I've been inactive, the usual school excuse. Can you believe we're nearly at 50 chapters though?? This book was supposed to be on the short side. Oh well, this is what happens when you're enthusiastic.

This chapter was cute, but made me sad and happy. James and Lily, I do adore them.

Rose